How to develop the habits you want for your future "you"
Many of us struggle to create long-term habits, especially when trying anything new. What may cause this? Why is it so hard to create new habits or change routines?
A “habit” is a behaviour or practice we repeat often, are hard to break, or are imprinted. Coffee in the morning, cigarettes after lunch, or midnight snacks... Positive and negative habits are part of life. Despite their differences, all of our behaviours are gradual: Start cue, routine, reward.
Theatre has a set order. A says queue B, and C arrives. Because person C begins here. A spotlight and accompanying music turn on at that point. Simply put, start signals signal action. For instance, if we drink coffee in the morning, we turn on the coffee machine. If we smoke after lunch, we take the lighter in our hand or the lighter itself. Our initial cue is the same for every habit.
Routines are automated once triggered. I feel like we're theatre actors. We always know where to go on stage, what hand motions to make, and what to say when the lights go on.
Reward is the satisfaction after a routine. Consider the taste and scent of coffee, the first cigarette breath, the tranquilly after meditation...
How can I form or alter a habit?
It takes intentional effort to form or break a habit. We mentally link the routine to the starting sign when designing it. Repeating the same behaviours after our go-ahead cue strengthens this association. Repeating the same behaviour strengthens our connection to the original trigger. That's why breaking the habit gets harder.
Alter your routine. Change your routine purposefully to form a new habit. To meditate in the morning, you may need to adjust your schedule. You can set an alarm to meditate at a given time and use it as a starting point. Once the alarm goes off, you can meditate, guided or unguided. Starting with difficulty is normal. But as you repeat your new habit with your trigger to start, your brain will connect these two activities, strengthening this bond over time. You may form a habit.
Have patience. Breaking or starting a habit takes 21 days. This doesn't always happen. For simple habits like drinking water in the morning, 21 days may be enough. The process usually takes longer.
A University of London study found that new habits took 66 days. You ask why? Because certain behaviours are tougher to form. People may also be genetically more resistant to new habits.
Therefore, you must allow considerable time. Being unable to form a new habit or routine does not mean you failed. We would never walk if that were true. Because failing at every attempt to walk would deter us, and we would spend our lives crawling, sometimes never getting up...