Maybe forgive them
What is missing? Why am I unhappy, why can't I be happy? When did I become so numb?
It's really terrible, not feeling anything. In fact, my heart is full enough to claim that I love it, but it's just chaos. I don't take any steps to love and be loved. I'm as still as a figurine. Neither God can cure my supplications nor prayers. My life is still, quiet, like the surface of a still lake. The calm before the storm. That storm is breaking right now.
I can't understand myself, I've become so alienated from myself. I can not recognize myself.
I want to love, yes I am sure of it, but I am so reluctant. Or would I not have stepped in?
People are so worthless to me right now. I think I've been cheated a lot, used a lot. And I can't trust anymore. Yes, yes, it must be a trust issue.
But it hurts so much. I blame myself for not being able to add my love to this big world. I am bored.
I need love so bad right now, all I have to do is take a step. Not seeing people's faults. Maybe forgive them. To believe in hope. Of course, HOPE.
Come on, shake yourself up his. This destruction cannot be you.
"Trust" find me, "Hope" don't catch me.
I promise. I will love you. I will grant you the favor that is rightfully yours.
I will build a castle from this ruin.
"Insecurity"! I was always insecure as a child and today. All my life. But it's over my head now. There was always fear. Worrying that something will go wrong. But I'm grown now. I shouldn't be afraid of you. You are such a rare flower that I must put it in my vase before it dries.
And I'm valuable too, right?