SAC-Wk122—Is Cohabiting Called Marriage?

Hi, great Steemians, hope all is well with you guys. I'm here to give my own thoughts on this topic today, and I thank @bossj23 for giving me the privilege to do so.

No! They can never be couples because the bride price has not been paid and the right thing has not been done on the woman's head. Even the Bible forbids that; in fact, I call this advanced fornication, and sometimes it leads to broken homes at last. In many Nigerian cultures, cohabiting without paying a bride price or formalizing the relationship is considered unacceptable. This sometimes is a complex issue because some people see cohabiting as a practical step towards understanding compatibility before marriage; they believe it allows them to test their relationship, manage finances together, and build a life, but if this particular perspective leads to pregnancy, then it's not right to me.

Yes, cohabitating is a shortcut to marriage; sometimes I call it the higher purchase of a woman. Some couples drift into marriage without formal commitment or planning; this is not right. Others use it as a step towards marriage, strengthening their bond, but when this leads to pregnancy and having children, that's when the problem will arise because the man will not want to pay the woman's bride price again with the excuse that he is now the one provider for the children she is giving birth to; thus, there will be no money for marriage. So my view on this issue is that cohabitating before marriage is a risky thing to do; two persons can always be in a relationship without cohabitating till marriage.

Yes cohabiting has pros and cons but the cons of this issue is more alarming that the pros.

The advantage of cohabitation before marriage is that the couple will get to know each other's lifestyle, character, behavior, weakness, and strength and also know if they are compatible with each other.

The disadvantage is that when pregnancy occurs and the woman starts giving birth in the process of cohabitating, the man will feel reluctant to pay the bride price of the woman and will be giving silly excuses. I'm saying this based on true life experience. A woman once told a pastor that she wanted to leave her marriage, and when the pastor asked why she wanted to leave so badly, she told him that for 40 years now her husband has refused to pay a dime on her head, even to offer wine to her kinsmen after she gave birth to her son, and now her son, who is about 40 years old, is planning to get married, and she felt so ashamed for that. So the pastor asked her if her husband was going to attend his son's marriage; the woman said no, that he has decided not to attend. So that's what happens when cohabitating before marriage goes wrong. Most people live to regret it.

The answer is no, it is not good because in the process of this test that pregnancy comes in, and when it occurs, the man might not accept the child or might accept the child but won't pay your bride price any longer. If a couple-to-be can abstain from sex, I believe that cohabitating before marriage can be a good thing and lead to a successful marriage. But all this depends on the man's intentions too because there are some good men who will still go ahead to pay the bride price even after cohabitating goes wrong, so when there is a good and clear intention, cohabitating might actually be the right thing to do, but still, I personally do not accept that because cohabitating before marriage is wrong to me, and I still stand by my belief.

Thank you.

I invite @ruthjoe @dannyben39 @endylove to participate in this contest.