ULOG: #5 For Week 6 - Should I have Felt Hurt or Angry?

I wanted to write about this yesterday but I had already made my #ulog for the day. So I decided that I would write about it today especially if I found out the reason why it happened.

Well yesterday while browsing thru Facebook I saw that it was my cousin's 70th birthday so I greeted her. I saw other greetings and they seemed like ordinary greetings from others too. But I was also wondering if she was planning to celebrate maybe the weekend or something.

I wrote then my #ulog and checked my account. The I surfed again Facebook. I was surprised to see posting about decorating a hall and for my cousin's birthday. I felt kind of piqued because I did not know about it. I even asked my companions if my cousin told them about the party. They said that no one wa stold.

I had my lunch with my mother. Then went back to my laptop. Checked my #steemit group and more. Then I checked Facebook again. There was a party! Even my cousins from the city was there. She had posted the pictures. I saw a lot of people and there was even group picture taking with the celebrants with relatives.

I felt hurt and sad that I was not invited. Even my other relative asked why I was not there and my helper said we were not invited. I did not know what to feel. I was at first wondering if I did anything wrong to her. I could not sleep well. I even told my helper to ask her why. I do not know if it was proper but we are close. I would not have felt hurt if my cousin lived abroad or far away but we live in the same town and just across each other.

I was wracking my brain if I had done something wrong or said something wrong. If we were not close cousins it might not have mattered much. But I felt so hurt seeing all the others enjoying and eating and mingling. It would have been nice to bring my mom so she would have enjoyed too.

I also asked her daughter thru messenger she replied that she was also surprised when I commented on a post that I was not invited. Sad to say I was not able to ask her last night because
she had visitors. Even the venue was just around the corner of my house.

When you feel frustrated and worry, you can't sleep well. When I woke up the first thing I reminded my helper to ask.Maybe some will say just let it go or maybe she had her reason. But there was that nagging feeling in my head. I just had to know if I did something wrong so maybe I can right it.

After a while he came back with 2 kilos of mangoes from my cousin. She asked forgiveness because it was unintentional that I was not invited. She thought all her invitations were sent out. When she got home from the party she saw 3 invitations on the table, mine and 2 other neighbors.

I don't know if I feel relieved or still doubting. There were times she could have reminded my helper or even sent me a message.

I feel a little appeased but I will wait when we can talk face to face. She said when she has relaxed a bit she will come over and explain. But I still feel the hurt of not being included in a family affair. Even just my mom because she is the only living elder of the Nufable clan and even the Tajanlangit clan. Just for respect.

I might not react this way if we were just passing acquaintance or not so close but her husband was my first cousin and I have always invited her to occasions in my house and I also attended hers. We have laughed and cried together so maybe that is why I was so hurt and disappointed.
I will wait till we can talk face to face. Even if my helper saw the invitation I still have the feeling it might have been intentionally (Paranoia setting in).

But there was one good thing today that has erased all my hurt feelings. I made my #upfundme post for my grandson and I gave and update. I was also sad to see low earnings but I still have hopes to reach even half of my goal by the deadline. It was only after a while when checking again I saw a message from my dear friend @henry-gant. He sent me 20sbd to jump-start my @upfundme. He said that he is helping others hoping that the others who can afford to will also help. He also said not to worry because he has a plan. I am so grateful for him

I made this using pictures of me wearing a hat because his profile picture is only a hat too. Lol.

It is people like @surpassinggoogle, @henry-gant , @paradise-found, @ nomad-magus and @oleg326756 who go out of their way helping minnows and newbies in their own way. It made me feel loved and important. Helps erase all the doubts earlier.

That was my day today. It is also a rainy evening now so cool nights.

Our mentor @surpassinggoogle has been very supportive of our group #SteemitDiversify and other groups too. Please support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.
If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.
Others that we should support are: @henry-gant, @nomad-magus, @kenny-crane, @beanz, @teamsteem, @good-karma, @busy.org, @esteemapp, @hr1, @arcange @bayanihan, @acidyo, @anomadsoul, @steemitph, @jerrybanfield, @darthnava, @paradise-found, @geetharao, @stephenkendal and @richq11; they also have supported us; also the many others who have visited My posts. Pls. support them too. Thank you very much.
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This post was made from https://ulogs.org