That Time I Dragged The Wife to Area 51

A few years back I had some much needed vacation time and extra money so I decided to go to Area 51. Why wouldn't you if you could, drive 150miles from Vegas into the middle of the desert with the chance to be abducted by unfriendlies? My wife hates me sometimes.

I really didn't have any reason to go other than to say I'd been there. I don't really believe that aliens have visited us or crash landed, etc. You don't fly across the galaxy only to crash land on a mediocre planet or do the same, don't crash land, but hang out with the Americans cause they are slightly more advanced ants than say the Russians or the Japanese. No, if you were advanced enough for fast, interstellar travel you'd probably just come for the resources and the nice beaches then move on to a planet like Pandora where the freaking mountains float and the natives are blue cat people. Now that's an interesting place to hang out! Oh ya and it's got that rare mineral that's worth like $20mil a kilo!

 

So off we went, after bribing my wife with a steak dinner the night before. Along the way we were surprised to find a lake and horse ranches in the middle of the desert! I always wonder about people who live miles from everything, what they do for a living, what they do for entertainment, then I stopped myself, maybe I'd rather not know. I didn't see any glue factories or Japanese butchers around.

When we reached the turn off for highway 375 to Rachael things started getting exciting and uncomfortable at the same time. Signs of aliens where everywhere and we didn't know what to expect from this point on, other than weird shit.

As we got closer to Rachel I noticed a well groomed road leading out into the desert with a mailbox so we turned onto it to see where it would lead.

We were only a few hundred feet onto it when I noticed something off into the distance, shiny, reflective like a downed alien space ship spread across the top of the mountain. There was also a strange tower next to it which I concluded was indeed military and somewhere we did not want to be anywhere near for fear we would end up on the 5 o'clock news, or worse in another dimension! 

I pulled the e-brake and we spun around like the tea-cup ride at Disneyland and hightailed it out of there back towards civilization at Rachael.

Upon arriving at Rachael we were unpleasantly greeted by a crashed saucer being towed behind a tow truck. My instinct to again haul ass the other direction was over ruled by my wife who wanted to relish in my discomfort as well as talk to some extraterrestrials. So we parked, far away from the UFO and walked into the Little Aleinn.

We were quite surprised that the locals there dressed like us and didn't seem to mind we were much taller than them. They were just hanging around while we did our thing.

The aliens sure had a knack for kitsch. 

At the bar they were trying to raise funds to phone home so we obliged. Didn't want to end up on their bad side getting uncomfortably probed

After we paid our bribe the ET's insisted on showing us some of their travel photos as well as an album they made and some other stuff.

After I mentioned that the Zetales sounded and looked strangely like the earthling Beatles things went south. It was a sore spot for them as they insisted the Beatles had copied the intergalactic sensation Zetales without paying any royalties or acknowledgements. They asked how the hell else could the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band LP have come into existence without a little out of this world help? I knew at that moment it was time to GTFO before the conversation turned to my thoughts on if aliens were portrayed fairly in the movie A Fire In the Sky.

Before we left though I was able to capture a few more shots.

Our hosts \told us to come again and creeped back inside.

I for one won't be back. Some advice for you, if you do go to the Little Aleinn in Rachel, bring cash cause they don't accept bitcoin, it's blocks are too small, transaction time sucks and the network fees are insane. They did mention something about accepting the far more technologically advanced litecoin though if you have any of those.

Oh, and beware of their henchmen cows that will watch and follow you until you are good and far away.