Life Full of Pains!

This is life. It's messy and unpredictable, full of wonderful surprises and mind numbing disappointment the uncertainty of it all is why I hide, trying to avoid all the pain and the heartache.

I was taught young how to be stone-cold, self reliant, to hold myself high and poised, with a ready smile and with a good charm ready to conquer the world. So I learned from early on to only cry behind close doors, on dim lights without sound, to howl in pain silently, to break down without anyone knowing and to never ask for help. Because when no one sees you suffering, do you really suffer? Much like, when a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?I can always just pretend that whatever pains me never happened, and I can always go back and face the world pretending I'm Okay.

So, I learn from my mistakes. It's a very painful way to learn, but without pain, the old saying is, there's no gain. I found that to be true in my life. You miss a lot of opportunities by making mistakes, but that's part of it, knowing that you're not shut out forever, and that there's goal you can still reach.