The Art of Parenting

On a daily basis I keep realizing what our parents went through to get us properly brought up with the right upbringing.

source

Oh Yes! In a world where you find several influence and peer pressure some people would really find it hard to blame grown ups whose lives didn’t turn out well as it ought.

Wherever we find ourselves may be excusable, but where we would be tomorrow is totally a product of our own decisions and actions which of cause has a multiplier effect as to the kind of life we would give our own children.

I have got a two Year 7months old son who is not only very active but also very smart and intelligent. Just some days ago, his mum and I were shocked to hear him say some things we haven’t heard him say before (not bad things though) but it was a pointer to the fact that you don’t assume anything in the presence of children either in words or in action.

My wife said, “kids don’t actually know what to store in their minds and what not to store”. They just store up everything in the subconscious as it comes and as occasion demands it they bring it out. This means to a very large extent that YOU as the parent has a lot of work to do in determining what they take in. I believe you remember the proverb that says; “charity begins at home”. It’s a proverb that encompasses all forms of discipline that ought to be learnt in the home.

Going further, I will like to share some things we as parents need to take to heart in bringing up our kids.

1. Our Actions:
This is an important thing to look out for as our kids grow up because you will be shocked how much they learn by observing your daily actions in the home. My son has learnt to say "thank you" for anything done for him such as serving him his food. He is also nice to sometimes offer you his food. This is just because we are intentional to teach him by really practicing it. I remember asking my wife to throw me the Television Remote control in my son’s presence and she did. Few minutes later I gave my son his mum’s phone to help pass it to her. You won’t believe he threw it at her. Ofcause he missed and the phone smashed on the wall. My wife was quick to remember it was because of the remote control she threw to me earlier. So, watch out! your actions can be re-acted by your kids.Also, you can’t expect to bring up a child in a violent home and not have the tendency of also being violent. Your Actions means a lot, watch it!
2. Our Words:
If I should list this things in order of preference, I think I would put this as first on the list. Words are powerful tools in an environment where kids are being raised and you can’t afford to use words loosely where they are. Else, you will either be inputting in them the wrong vocabularies or bartering their self esteem from a very tender age. I never really grew up knowing how to use curse words, so seeing people use curse words while growing up seem to amaze me how they do it without a bad feeling in their conscience. Hence, we are quite careful what we say in our son’s presence and even in the unguarded moments as my wife puts it. You also need to teach them “the art of positive confession”. Yes, this is scriptural. Proverbs 23:7 says; As a man thinks in his heart so is he. Our words are the products of our thoughts. Therefore, it is essential to begin to groom them to learn to confess the right things concerning themselves and this will also go a long way to boost their self confidence and have a good self image. Here is a sample of confession practice they can grow with;

[source](harvest house Christian Centre facebook page)

3. Shouting isn’t always the solution:
I must say I am kind of guilty of this. I am sure you are guilty too. We need to learn not to always shout at our kids. It ain’t easy most times I must confess, but you will agree with me that the fact that you shouted doesn’t mean he won’t either repeat the same thing or do another different thing that will get you upset. So, just keep your calm atimes and let them be the kids they are. You could also call them gently and ask them to stop whatever they are doing. The danger of shouting at them at any slight chance is that if care is not taken, if you do not shout, they won’t take you serious. I am sure you don’t want that.

4. Make them Responsible:
No adult suddenly becomes lazy, dirty, disorganized or unkempt. It’s a product of upbringing. Hello! I send my son on little errands already, he takes his plate to the kitchen already after eating and drops it gently in the sink. He drops his dirty clothes inside the washing machine by himself. Oh! He reminds his mum he wants to brush his teeth before going to bed at night already. All this things are deliberate efforts to ensure he grows up to be a responsible man. I can’t imagine a 15year old who doesn’t know how to do his laundry or run errands. Making our kids be able to do this things from a tender age goes a long way to really build a good sense of responsibility in our kids which will help them as they grow up.

5. Love them Unconditionally:
If your kids lack in anything, they mustn’t lack your love. We are in a society where we decide to love our kids just because they passed their exams, and the day they fail we kind of deprive them of our love. Technically, this means your love for your kid is based on his or her performance and not on the fact that he or she is unique and deserves all the love he can get irrespective of anything at all.
Let me share this with you; “a secondary school student in my nephew’s school recently committed suicide just because he was to repeat a class”. I guess he had no support or any form of encouragement from home and to also make matters worse his mates made so much jest of him. Lest I forget, the same class mates gave him the recipe of the mixture to take to commit suicide when the student (victim) asked. They later confessed to giving him the recipe but that they never new he was serious about killing himself. Yes, it happened here in Nigeria about two months ago now.

No form of examination can be seen as a yardstick to determine how Intelligent any kid is. Every kid have their strengths and that strength should be discovered, harnessed and embrazed with full support.

I think I should stop here.

The list is inexhaustible. Just ensure you don’t allow your kids to fall victim of the same bad experience that you had while you were growing. That will be very unjust.

Do your very best with the help of God to be observant to learn one thing or the other from any good family around you, expose yourself to helpful materials that will help you know other various ways you can bring up your children to be the very best they can be when they grow up.

Thank You!