Hack Your Habits! A Step By Step Guide To Change.

'Tis the season of resolutions! In this post, I'll be taking a close look at habits, why they work against you and how you can change them.

Habits

Lets talk about habits. A habit is something you do naturally or without thinking, like locking your car each time you go into the store or how you fold your laundry. There's a misconception that habits are bad things, but they actually play a very important role in our lives. Think of your brain as a super computer. It can recognize your second grade math teacher, let you play three different instruments, speak multiple languages and help you win Jeopardy. And while your brain is busy doing all that awesome stuff, it's also doing what it needs to keep you alive. When's the last time you forgot to breathe? Or chew your food? Or not walk in front of a bus? You do all those things unthinkingly and you do them because they are habits.

Lets imagine for a moment that you had to consciously decide to take each breath that you do.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

If breathing was a mental decision, you wouldn't really have time to think about much else. Sounds like one of the more torturous Black Mirror episodes. Fortunately, your brain has a rock solid neural pathway that started the day you were born to do this bodily function so that you can file it away in your subconscious and use your thinking power for cooler stuff!

The habit of breathing is maybe one of the strongest neural pathways in your brain, but there are countless others. Try and think of other things you do unthinkingly and instinctively each and every day. Coffee in the morning. Wiping your ass with your right hand, not the left. What about the drink you have each night? How long have you been doing that? Maybe you don't even have to think about it anymore. And maybe you've decided that you don't like that about yourself.

So now you've made a resolution. This is the year you decide quit drinking or eating take-out or snacking when you watch tv every night! And since its what you've decided, now you don't have to think about it, right? Wrong. Remember those mental pathways? They are now going to work against you, not with you. It's like digging a dirt trench and then deciding you want it five feet to the left of where you put it. It's going to be hard work and your brain will not be happy that you're screwing with its current, efficient layout.

How long you've been repeating the behavior is directly correlated to the difficulty you'll have changing that pathway. Other factors include your genetics, the addictiveness of the thing itself and rewards and consequences for not continuing the behavior. Say you're going to quit drinking a glass of whiskey every night after dinner and its been your habit for 4 years. When you stop, it will feel like something is missing. You might have trouble going to sleep for a week because your brain is used to the order of 1. Dinner 2. Whiskey 3. Sleep. You might be irritated for a month because your brain isn't releasing the dopamine it does when you drink alcohol.

How to Successfully Break a Habit

Start small. When I quit smoking, I started by first quitting Menthol cigarettes, which in my opinion are much more addictive. It was a signal to my brain that change was coming, which helped when I starting backing down to fewer and fewer cigarettes a day. I was just loosening the neural path that had formed over the four years I had smoked, not expecting unrealistic change.

"I am acknowledging that I have a habit that I dislike and want to change. Each time I reach for a cigarette, I will try and wait 5 more minutes before I smoke and remind myself that eventually I will have to live without them."

When it gets tough, treat your brain like it's a toddler throwing a fit. Be nice, but firm with yourself. It's going to be a rough ride and when you feel cranky and when you find yourself agitated, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and remember your resolution.

"Right now I'm feeling super anxious because I haven't had a cigarette today, but that's because I've made a decision to quit. This is my brain throwing a fit, but I will be OK and do not need a cigarette."

Breaking down doesn't mean you failed. In fact, very few habits can be quit on a single try! It's all part of that rewiring your brain is trying to do. I told myself at least 100 times which cigarette would be my last and it never worked. If I had considered that a failure, I never would been able to quit. My definition of success changed multiple times over the course of quitting. As long as I was a step closer to a life without cigarettes, I was succeeding.

"Today my goal is to only smoke two cigarettes, which is better than the three I had yesterday and maybe next week I can get by with only one a day."

Be honest and aware of how your habits are connected. The compilation of every behavior you have makes up your lifestyle in a jigsaw puzzle way. Changing one aspect of your life, even a seemingly small one, will likely effect other parts. Don't be naive about it and be ready for other sacrifices you may have to make.

"I enjoy stepping outside and having a conservation with someone when I smoke. It will be difficult to not join my friends when they go outside to smoke."

Trick you own brain. You can actually use other parts of your lifestyle to influence your habitual behavior. Use your brain connections to your advantage. Remember, you're going to be low on dopamine if you quit drinking or serotonin if you give up chocolate, so watching a funny movie could offset your lows and take your mind off what you're missing.

"I'm craving a cigarette right now, but I'm going to go for a run before I give in." (Nine times out of ten the endorphins released from running made me feel so good I forgot about wanting a cigarette so badly.)

I've made this all sound very logical and matter of fact, but in reality, breaking a habit is tough emotionally. Find support from people who will understand the struggle. I hope this helps you in your journey to change! Cheers to new neural pathways!

Ready to build good habits? Check out the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change