Friendship and Boundaries

My friend's name is Gift. She's used to be my best friend. We've always shared everything and she was even my roommate. I wasn't really hiding things from her but as of recent she gave me enough reasons why I should start.

Gift is a very tall and beautiful girl. She is dark skinned. I have introduced her to my other friends and we are all good. One thing I recently got to know is that no matter how close you are to your friends, you have to give them boundaries and they have to keep that boundary for Peace to reign.

I have told Gift everything about my relationship life and she has also told me everything I should know about hers. But the point is this, I respect myself and I value friendship. So anything that will bring issue between myself and gift, I try as much to avoid.

But on the other hand Gift just take everything the way she likes she feels since I'm her friend, she's free to do anything she wants and I will not get angry. Sometimes last year, I was working with my best male friend (I don't wanna use the term 'boyfriend') when Gift called my phone. She asked where I was and I told her exactly where I was and she said she wanted to come over. I didn't have any problem with that neither did my friend.

They have met before so he knows her already. By the time she got there, she was just being carefree with her speech, everything she does, the way she said things. But at some point, she was being too over-familiar with my friend and I was getting uncomfortable. All of a sudden she started talking about my family which I didn't find it funny.

There are some things I confided in her about and I was shocked when she started saying them in front of Mike. I got upset and told her to stop but she took it for granted. She didn't even notice I was upset. I stood up and told Mike I was leaving and Mike also stood up and followed me.

When I left Mike, I went straight to the house and Gift was far behind me. When she got to the house, she was just shouting and ranting and making all sorts of statements; why would I behave like that as if I'm a child... I didn't really take it to heart but I just told her she was crossing her boundaries and she got really angry.

The following day she packed her things and left the house. She went straight to Mike's house and, behind my back, she told Mike the things I never did or said. It was really bad I lost my relationship with Mike. Both of them became really close and I felt bad but at some point, I moved. Two months later, she did something that really provoked Mike to the point that he threw her out of his house. She was trying to scatter the relationship Mike had with his mother.

Like, Gift wanted Mike all to herself. No family interference, no friends, nothing! She was homeless! Mike really spoke to her and told her who she really is. She came begging and Mike also came begging. How I handled the situation is not really important.

The point is this. I allowed my friend access to myself. She knew things about me. But even at that, she was supposed to have boundaries but she didn't really care about that. She decided to blow my trust and do what she wanted. By the time she realized that she was wrong, things were already going left.

No matter how open someone is to you, learn to respect boundaries. Self respect is Paramount! Once you respect yourself, you will respect others and their opinions and never step on boundaries!

Cheers to a better life! Steem on!