Officially a Father for 23 Days and Counting

There are a few events in our lives that we can't help but be amazed of how blessed we are. Personally, I have been through a lot of highs the past years. But as expected, what goes with it are problems and struggles as well. But I try to focus more on the good side, the things that makes life worth living, the things that makes us feel alive.

Source: Pexels

Last year, I got married. A day after our 1st wedding anniversary, our firstborn and daughter was born. And just like that, in a year, I have become a husband and father. Was it easy? NO, it was quite challenging honestly. But each day is a learning experience for me, and hopefully as the day goes by, I become better at it.

I have been trying to write in the past few days and weeks, but I have been very busy with changing diapers lately. And with my sleepy state of mind, allow me to share a few things about this exciting journey that I am currently on.

I. The Waiting Game

A few months after our wedding, we found out that my wife was pregnant. I was so excited that we bought 3 pregnancy kits to be sure. We were so happy, and excited. As a husband and a soon-to-be-father, I honestly don't know what I was supposed to be doing. I guess that's normal, most people undergo the same stage wherein we really don't know things, but that's okay as long as we are continually learning.

Source: Huffington Post

The 9-month pregnancy has been quite a roller coaster ride for me and my wife and our baby of course.

The first month, and first trimester was full of worries and confusion. My wife was experiencing pregnancy cramps that's way beyond normal. We've been to 3 OB's just to be sure and to clear our worries and fears. And then my wife was officially diagnosed with a subchorionic hemorrhage. I don't really know much about this, but as I understood, I think what this means was that my wife was bleeding inside and that her body was trying to expel it (just like a regular menstruation). This is really frightening as miscarriage could occur as a result, and to make things scarier, doctors usually tag this as a (sub)threatened abortion, which is not really helpful especially for the first timers. The fertilized egg at that time was still too small that it could be flushed out with the bleeding.

After a complete bedrest and with quite a lot of medications, we made it to the 2nd trimester. At this stage, the baby is no longer at risk of abortion, as it is now firmly implanted. We have finally get past the fear-and-worry stage, and now we can enjoy and be excited again about this journey. We just laugh out the experiences that we had in the past months and we are so thankful that we finally made it!

Source: Research Gate

Another exciting phase about the pregnancy was the gender reveal, which is usually done at 5-7 months. When we first had our ultrasound to check the babies' gender, our baby was moving wildly that the doctor was having a hard time assessing our babies' gender. I guess my wife ate too much chocolates before the ultrasound. The doctor was still not sure about the gender, she just said it is still 50-50.

On our next scheduled ultrasound, we are already expecting that it should be very visible now, given the baby was given a few weeks to grow. When we had the ultrasound, my wife had a wide smile painted on her face, even before the doctor announced it. Looking at the screen/monitor, she already know it was a girl. They were all smiles, and got me a bit confused as I can't really tell much what was shown on the screen. All I see was white and black, nothing more, can't even tell which is which, the doctor just kept on saying, this is the face, bla bla bla. Then the doctor confirmed it, it's 100% a girl.

Source: Gender Reveal

We now have a daughter. My wife already had great plans of dolling up our little girl. Every time we went to the department stores, she already eyed some designs and dresses that she will be making soon. We have already made preparations for the day. But I am not really sure if we are really prepared for what's coming. :D

II. D-Day

Based on the ultrasounds, my wife was due on February 22, so we had our regular checkup on that day. Our doctor advised us that we only have a few days, 5 days at most, and then we should go to the hospital for the delivery. We decided to go on February 24, so hopefully, my wife can give birth on February 25, but our baby have different plans. She doesn't want to have her birthday on our wedding anniversary.

At the ER, during internal examination, my wife was still 1cm dilated. We had been stuck at 1cm for 2 weeks. The walks we had a few weeks ago didn't makde any difference at all. From the ER, my wife was sent to the labour room wherein she was already induced to speed things up. After 2 days, my wife's cervix still had not opened up, despite all the medications she'd been having. The 3rd day, the doctor already burst open my wife's bag of water, hoping that this will improve our chances for a normal delivery.

The doctor already warned us, that we can only wait for a few hours, and if my wife's cervix was still not fully dilated, we need to have a C-section. 9 hours passed, and my wife was still at 4 cm, the doctor already waited 5 more hours, but there's no improvement at all. The contractions were now so strong, but my wife's cervix is not helping at all, they have a term for this "incompetent cervix".

Already signed up the documents needed for a C-Section, made the initial downpayments, and they already prepped my wife for the procedure. Around 9pm (February 26), we anxiously waited at the waiting room. We were really hoping for a normal delivery mainly because of the ease of recovery and the cost. But after 3 days at the hospital, a C-section is now our only option. We've already waited a long time, and if we wait some more, it could put the baby at risk to infection and a few other things.

They've already sent my wife to the operating room, and just a few minutes after we heard a loud cry. The nursery was quiet at that time, so it must have been our baby. Then our pediatrician called us out, so that he can show us the baby. I was very excited to see our daughter for the first time. A few minutes ago, we we're so anxious. But upon seeing the baby, we were all smiles. And quite honestly, I giggled like a girl when I first saw her. :)

III. Officially a Father

I have always considered myself ready to become a father. But a few days of actually being a father, I'm no longer sure. Nothing has really prepared me for it. There are a lot of things that are new to me, a lot of unknowns. And the unknown can be scary and frightening. Luckily, technology has been very helpful for us these days, most of our paranoid questions are already on the internet. And it's really comforting to see that some of the things that we are experiencing are perfectly normal. The doctors, nurses, our friends, and our extended families are all very helpful with this transition. They made sure that we know what we are doing, and help ease our worries.

As a father and as a parent, it is really hard seeing your child in pain. But after a few days at the hospital, Savina is starting to get yellowish. Later we found out that she had an ABO Compatibility and 2 other diagnosis that I don't know what. It's frustrating having nurses and med-techs stick a lot of needles on your child just because her vein was too small to see. What's even more frustrating was that there's no other option but to go with the IV treatment. So we stayed another few days on the hospital until the treatment was completed.

I now have a few skill sets learned in a just a matter of time. The first day, I learned how to carry a newborn. I learned how to change diapers. I learned how to feed our baby and make her burp. I learned how to properly wash and sterilize the baby stuffs. I learned how to wash my babie's clothes and all the white stuffs. I've literally learned it all while busy processing the documents for discharge, while taking care of my wife, and while busy trying to make ends meet.

Now I officially know why most people will say "You will never know what it takes to be a parent until you've experience it". And I think I already saw and experienced some of it. It was stressful, especially the first 2 weeks, wherein I had to wake up every other hour just to feed our baby, change diapers, etc. etc. It was tiresome and draining that I find myself sleep talking and doing all those weird stuffs while sleeping like putting a pillow to sleep. Nothing has really prepared me for these, yet I am very much excited and I can honestly say that it was totally worth it.

P.S. She is so growing fast, that it worries me a little bit, it's too fast. :)

IV. BONUS - I am not financially prepared for it, but SteemIt made it all possible.

Getting married and having a baby right away is a financial nightmare.

A side from my 8-5 regular work, I had a few part-time projects to help us save for our wedding, and then for the pregnancy and our baby. But after all the hurdles, it was still not enough. We have set aside enough money for a normal delivery, but not enough for a C-Section. Here in the Philippines, a normal delivery would cost around 200-600 USD. And a C-Section around 900-2000 USD, at least. For a regular newly wed, we don't have that much money on our savings account, we only had around 1000 USD. But this is really not enough for the operation costs alone. And we still have lot of expenses for my wife's high-risk pregnancy and the baby stuffs.

At the 6th month of my wife's pregnancy, we've already accepted that we can't really raise another 1000 USD in 3 months. So we've already prepared to make a bank loan to cover all our expenses. But when SteemIt came along, everything changed. My friends have been inviting me to join SteemIt, but I just shrugged it off because it looks spammy to me. Luckily, I decided to join around December 2017, and it was one of the best decisions that I made. The timing was so perfect, as in a matter of weeks, I already cashed out a few SBDS. Started with 30, then 35, and the blessings started to flow. It has been very rewarding so far, at the very least financially. Over the span of a few months, I have paid the debts that we have acquired on our wedding, have set aside enough money to cover the cost of a C-Section, prepared all the baby stuffs, and still have a few SBD's for savings.

Source: Disobedient Media

There are a lot of SteemIt success storings floating around and hopefully my story will also bring inspiration. Will try to write some more whenever I had the time.

Cheers!

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