Comedy open mic week 39 my dad's sperm

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

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Family planning…: did you know that in Nigeria the most populous black nation
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(yeah that's right we are) whenever you bring up this topic people still roll their eyes, get tired, drop their luggage, try to slap you and stuff because nobody gives a shit.
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There are over 190million people in Nigeria and they are black so it's like what you have in a typical American slum village except shitier
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(#Donald trump wasn't so wrong).

I stay in the township in portharcourt that's like Nigeria's New York 😒 so I'm supposed to be pouch or something, but in the village I come from: in one river where they poop, they have their baths, they get drinking water and they swim for fun (what you thought swiming in the river would just stop being fun…think again). I say all of this to let you know why it's a big surprise that family planning is not taking seriously (well then again life isn't taken seriously)
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I'm a medical student (yaas!! So flashy😏) so I've been taught a lot of family planning stuff. I know stuff ok, I can get you pregnant and unpregnant you at the same time, they taught us this stuff in school. So I get home on one of my holidays and I'm discussing with my parents about family planning. Now you might think this isn't a bad idea, like hey he's a medical student, he's home, why not let him be a blessing (as if he could). But my parents are in their late 60's, early 70’s. They've finished their family size and have to need of the information I'm dishing out. My parents know this, but they know they have a proud son who thinks he is smart.
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My parents like I said up there are in their late 60's, early 70’s. But my mom gave birth to 8 children so they sort of strike me a my perfect candidates ok. My biggest issue with many children is it kind of makes the woman seem like a clown car you know, 8 kids popped out of there, something's got be wrong with the car or something is wrong with the clowns.
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So my parents listened carefully as I went against the system that raised me, as I bit the hand that fed me and they asked themselves why the hell they didn't abort this one or atleast if my dad's withdraw game was strong by now they wouldn't be hearing this crap or I'd be in a sewage system somewhere, a bag of jizz.
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Thank you for reading this post remember to plan your family right, and leave your parents alone

for this wonderful post (highly unfunny 🙄) I nominate @belemo because he too is my dad's jizz and @kigigha cause that's the jizz maker 🤭🤭

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I'd love your comments and feedback also watch out for my steemstem post weekly (I'll try to educate you stubborn people)

peace

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Daddy has amazing sperm

That's what I tell everyone but they get pissed all the time😧

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