This is the worse year of my life,

This is the worse year of my life,
Losing you is the only thing I needed to learn In this life.
You taught me love without saying a word,
Your action and love to our family is the Bible I read everyday in my head.

To reflect,
to learn,
to feel,
How blessed and wonderful it is to be loved so much?
you're what love is all about,
to me.

You never asked anything from me,
you never asked me to be anything or anyone,
and you loved me,
the most in this world,

I never really lost anything in my life,
until you're gone,
there was no real lost,
until you're gone,

Nothing was pure and real enough,
to be call a lost,
but you Dad,

I know you can hear me while resting in heaven gate,
I'm not great but I'm ok:)
Please don't worry about mother and I,
we will take care of each other from now on,

-Was thinking about my dad while walking Happy tonight,
I think of my dad everyday,

How are you dad?
miss you dad,
love you dad,
gonna make you proud dad,
rest in peace dad,
I'll take care of mom dad:)

Although this is for sure the worse year of my life,
but I'm alright,
not great but I'm alright,

There's just so much of life and love to learn and to think about,
with my father's passing,
but as I tried to avoid over thinking at this point,
I think I'll learn and reflect more as time moving forward.

It's the end of July 2018,
I'm adjusting well after quitting IQOS and smoking for over 3 weeks,
doing more creative work this week,
and listening to final demos to pick the 3rd single to work on,..

Sometimes it scares me to know that,
there will be harder things that might happen in life,
might hurts more than the pass of my dad.
though I don't think there might be...
besides the day my mom need to go too..

But at the same time,
I just have to imagine in my head,
and to get ready to face it.
Whether it happens or not,
I liked to be prepared...

Hardships,
hurts.
But at the same time,
it builds.

The thing I fear the most in my life was losing my parents.

I'm going through one of it now,
Yes, it really hurts.

But I'm ok and I'm alright,
I'm still grateful for my life,
it was still a blessed beautiful journey for me,
by far,

And it should always be.

Life, is a beautiful gift.

Talk soon,..;)

Blessings+Love,
Sonja