Only Real-Life Events!

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Hmm... Okay, now you prepare to meet your end. You can't escape me..."

Imagine this:

On the night of April 1, 1982, a 23-year-old man sat on his bed, in the middle of night, uttering these words to some invisible entity. His newly wedded wife, confused, half asleep, and a little intimidated, looked at him in utter disbelief. She had known him a little before their marriage. But this can't be true... He can't be talking to some invisible beings... Then, with a sudden clap and a burst of mocking laughter, the man declared, "idiot, you kept sucking my blood, you had to die!" He theatrically opened his hand, revealing the demise of the bloodsucking pest—the alleged son of the devil!

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My mother witnessed my father's gradual build-up of rage towards this enemy for the first time on that very night. It was a full-on display of an ongoing rivalry that persists to this day. All his grandkids are well-versed in his attitude towards these pesky creatures. The youngest one in the bunch can imitate his actions of counting and then killing these beings spot-on.

She was so dumbfounded that she couldn't utter a word that night. However, by the next morning, the whole family, both his and hers, knew about the previous night's encounter and what had happened within those closed walls. And years later, she didn't forget to narrate the whole incident to us when we came of age!

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One day prior to this encounter, on March 31, 1982, there was a dialogue between another pair: a father-son duo:

Little did the father know that the spectator of his son's flight is a skilled marksman!!!

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The monologue you saw in the beginning of the post was the count of mosquitoes that were marked for their demise.

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And the steemverse saw a glimpse of my own negative affinity towards these scoundrels.

If you are too busy to go back to that post, here is a little throw back:

_{It's 2 am in the morning
I'm killing mosquitoes in this unfamiliar room
This home of my parents, soon to be rented out
Their new beginning}

_{I have killed so many of them
These flying blood sucking monsters
Have you ever heard of them in December?
They used to disappear in winters
Why the f*** everything is changing
Maybe a new beginning for these devils}

_{I have lit these two repellent coils
Still they are buzzing all around the room
Bhin bhin buzz buzz in my ears
I'm so furious
In a violent mode
Finishing them off manually with this ball made out of black shirt of my niece}

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So now you get a taste of how much I adore those buzzing critters. Clearly, I take after my dear old dad. Mom, on the other hand, couldn't care less about them. She's all zen, never fussing about anything, specially the mosquitoes. But me? I'm with pops on this one - I just can't stand the sight of these b*******!

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This is my last night's encounter with either one of the son or a father from the clan. And I usually have everything on hand to keep to put a plug on their throats, as @weisser-rabes wisely suggests. But some nights are just different. This time, I ran out of my trusty Kingtox, our common love, as @event-horizon can attest. And wouldn't you know it, one of those buzzing nuisances had the audacity to bite my ear! Well, being my father's daughter, as you just learned, I tracked it down and dealt with it in the pitch-black darkness. Yet, just to be sure it was gone, I flicked on the light. Then, thanks to the photographer in me, courtesy of @bambuka, I spent a whole hour photographing the little critter. I had dispatched it with just the right amount of force, not squashing it completely. There it lay, perfectly preserved, showcasing its full morphology and anatomy.

_{My photography though! Yes, you guessed it right. This is my haemoglobin in his stupid body even though I interrupted him mid meal. You greedy ******}

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I wanted to punch him while he was still in the air, but you know that punching mosquitoes while they're flying will do nothing to them. I read this somewhere. For example, if an ant fell off the Empire State Building, it would land harmlessly. Its terminal velocity is only a foot per second or so. It would land at about the same speed you would reach in punching a mosquito. By the way, I chose an ant because I don’t want anyone tearing the wings off of a mosquito and dropping them off of the Empire State Building, as much as I hate to get bitten by them.

So, yes, clapping them to death is by far the most effective and honed method, if they are daring enough to buzz near you, when other options aren't available. Although, if they outnumber you, dance in front of your eyes, tease you, and then go off to the roofs and walls, you can finish them off with a ball made out of cloth, provided you have a good aim. I learned the trick from—you know who—my dad (and we used to be at odds if he chose my scarf for the pious deed!)"

The End

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_Reference

_{I asked 'the one who shall not be named' about the genre of this text of mine.}

_{This piece could be classified as a satirical anecdote intertwined with personal reflection and humorous observations on the eternal battle against mosquitoes.}

_{Oh, really? How fancy! I was simply sharing real-life experiences and observations, nothing more! I doubt anyone will find a hint of mockery in it - perhaps just a bit of 'what on earth'!}