THR33 DIFFERENT WOMEN. Part 15.

One of the first things he learned to do was compartmentalize. After a long day of being screamed at by extremely angry instructors, it was good to switch off. That part of the brain where you hated everyone. At first it was hard, writing an email to Sophie or Liz took him ages. It was too early to let them know where he was and what he was doing. Getting all the anger off his chest to them wouldn't have given anyone peace of mind. It was a skill others had mastered, you could tell the ones who hadn't. A lot of them never made it through. Carrying the weight of all the frustration wore them away. John Able buckled down, kept low and tried his hardest to excel. Failing miserably on a regular basis.

His family, as he now thought of them, got him through. He was doing this for them in his head and his heart. The regular emails, and the infrequent video calls, were his oasis of calm in the storms he endured. His first sight of Jacob Dale Walters came at an opportune time. He was two months in. Half way through basic. After two months completed successfully he'd received his Kepi blanc, with the warning he'd been a hairsbreadth from being discharged. He was holding everyone else back they informed him. So he'd doubled his efforts. Only for them still to be considered short of what was required. Jamie, or John, had screwed up reassembling his Famas assault rifle. The instructor had bawled him out in front of all his comrades. In the most humiliating fashion he could think of. He was ready to quit. Nothing was worth this much degradation. Jacob, Liz and Sophie were. Seeing them over Skype brought him out of a depression that would have had no end.

He had big brown eyes, just like his mother. Jay hoped they wouldn't change as he grew. Foolish of him really. Without thinking he'd reached out a hand towards the little boys image. It was pure coincidence when Jacob also reached out. Sophie insisted otherwise, so he accepted the lie. It was beautiful, unlike reality. His subterfuge held out until Jay finished training successfully. It was those last two weeks that got him through. Fourteen days when for some inexplicable reason things worked out for John Able. Instead of fighting against the training he went with the flow. It wasn't conscious, it simply happened. At the right time for once. Some of those instructors who'd bullied and cajoled him were quite complimentary. Others were amazed he'd managed to get through.

There was pride in him as he donned his uniform for the passing out parade. Having never felt such a thing about himself before, he had to share it. Along with a long explanation of what he'd done. Liz and Sophie were not impressed. How could he do something so recklessly stupid? It had been incredibly easy, but Jay didn't say that. When they found out he was tied to the Legion for at least 5 years, things became a bit fraught. If he didn't know better, he'd have gained the impression they were angry with him. It was the raised voices and the swearing giving the wrong impression. Suddenly the dressing down he'd received from some NCO, way back in history, a month ago, didn't seem quite as important. They were safe. He'd get leave. Four weeks per year until his third year when it increased to five. That was more than most people got in the US.

He'd almost made the mistake of saying something about the free health care. That would have let the cat out of the bag. Sophie was way too smart not to put two and two together. To work out the money she was receiving wasn't for his health insurance, but hers. The lie was so blatantly fragile, all you had to do to unravel it was be able to count. It relied far too heavily on Sophie trusting him at his word, and Liz doing all the paperwork. Hopefully him not telling them what he was going to do, had done in fact, wouldn't lead her to check anything.

It was another eight months before he saw them in the flesh. Before he got to hold his nephew in his arms. Once there he didn't want to put Jacob down. Even after he threw up on him. Over excitement. Jamie couldn't blame him. He was vibrating inside. He'd pulled a few strings. Taken all four weeks of leave and paid for their tickets to fly over. Paris of course. They did take the bullet train down to Marseille, a city he was far more familiar with. They were very interested in his social life. Wanting to know if there was anyone special. There was actually. He and a Spaniard called Hernando were drinking buddies. It was too early for them to be considering a future together. That joke didn't stop them interrogating him. Liz was far more reticent about the French guy she hooked up with at the end of the second week. Good for her.

He and Sophie were eating on the balcony of their rented apartment. Liz was spending the evening with Gerard, she'd warned them she'd either be late or not coming back. Jacob had been put to bed, Jamie reading his bedtime story sent him off to sleep beautifully. The lights of Paris below, the Eiffel Tower way off in the distance, there was no doubt it was a very picturesque city. Romantic? That would depend very much on who was doing the observing. The two of them hadn't had a one to one conversation since before he'd left the States. It was nice being there together. Just the two of them. Like old times. The food was excellent, the wine had been recommended. He presumed it was good, Jamie wasn't much of a wine drinker. The sun had just disappeared below the skyline, the air was becoming chilly. Sophie shivered, so he draped his sweater over her shoulders.

"You've changed." She commented as she sniffed his garment. "It's weird really."
Jamie refilled her glass with the last of the wine.
"Is it good changed or bad changed?"
Sophie reached out taking his hand in hers.
"A bit of both." She smiled. "You were always a bit of a joker, but now, paradoxically, you seem less serious. I suppose it's because you've discovered some things can't be taken too seriously. You've certainly filled out. You're more confident, less cocky and far more thoughtful. Every now and then I can see it in your eyes. You're not here mentally, you're thinking things through. I don't know what they are." She paused, there was going to be a but. "I know I'm being selfish about this, but it scares me. I'm afraid I might lose you, like I lost Dale. You're a good looking guy. You've got a uniform and a glamorous job. As far as a lot of women are concerned, you are a catch Jay. You will meet someone, you will fall in love and we'll be forgotten."
"That will never happen.... You think I'm good looking?"
She blushed. Took a big swallow of the wine. Before collecting her wits.
"Some women might find you attractive. You're not film star good looking. You're more rugged. Your face looks lived in, it didn't before. You were way too smooth."
He laughed, slapping the table.
"Did you see how quickly I went from being catnip to single women, to being wrinkled? One second I was bound to be married, the next there's a slim chance a few women might look at me and not be disgusted. I think you're being thrown off by the uniform. I've got a thing about nurses."
"I've always thought you were attractive. It's one of the reasons I didn't like you in when we first met. That's beside the point. You've changed the subject."
Jay grinned from ear to ear.
"Soph, while we will be separated geographically, for at least the next four years, I'll never give up on you, Jacob and Liz. You won't be able to get rid of me that easily I'm afraid. You'll all be special to me till my dying day." Pulling out his wallet he showed her the picture inside. "That's the three of you. You're my lucky charms. I honestly wouldn't have got through training without thinking of my family all the time. If I die tomorrow I'll be thinking of you."
Her face collapsed, her eyes filled with moisture.
"Please don't say things like that. You're in the military. You could be sent somewhere dangerous. Dale passing was hard enough to handle and I had weeks of preparation for that. Losing you suddenly would be too much for me to handle."
"So you want me to have a slow lingering death..." That hadn't come out as he'd intended. Jay's attempt to lighten the mood with a dark joke had missed by miles. "Time for me to change the subject again. Sorry about that. What do you think Liz is up to right now?"
Her grin indicated he'd saved the situation there.
"Knowing Liz, she'll have skipped dessert and be headed back to Gerard's place for dessert. If you know what I mean."

Four weeks with them wasn't long enough, when in an ideal world you'd spend all your time with those you loved. Most people's lives didn't work out exactly as they wished. He hoped lying to them wasn't going to become a habit. Strictly speaking it wasn't a lie, unless they asked awkward questions. All he'd done was not tell them. There was a reason he'd been allowed to take all his annual leave in one lump. Compassionate grounds? That was the fudge they'd used to get it okayed. Jamie had been posted to one of those dangerous places she'd talked about. As a replacement for a Legionnaire who'd been killed in action. The day after Jacob and the ladies went home, he'd be flying out. They'd only worry needlessly. He didn't plan on dying anytime soon. It was positively the last thing he'd do.