My sad life story
I had a perfectly happy life until my Parents divorced at age 8. It didn't bother me that they divorced but what affected me was my mum getting involved with foreign guys (I still don't know why). My grandparents tried to get me into social services because they hated her. She met her boyfriend and I liked him…at first.
We constantly moved around because she couldn't afford rent, once it got so bad that we had to live in a caravan for 6 months. There were loads of strange foreign people at where we lived with the caravan and at least 2 people committed suicide. Many people also stayed illegally so there were frequent police vists.
I got bullied at school because I always looked scruffy for being 'poor' and I didn't have many friends. I gained weight as my mum would feed me sweets as it was her way of showing love.
Then when I was about 11 someone really really close to me died and that sent me into "depression" (except I was never diagnosed). I constantly thought of throwing myself into cars, etc.
I started to notice her boyfriend being nasty to my mum so I would stand up to her and I would get hit and shouted at and often ended up in tears every night. I even remeber him saying he would kill me and came at me with a knife. I complained day and night to my mum and wanted her to leave him - but she didn't.
High school came and I was ready for a fresh start. I didn't have many friends still but I had a bestfriend who I spent most of my time with. However, my best friend then left to go to Scotland and I had no one at school again. She then decided to cut off contact with me - I messaged her and sent her parcels and letters yet she was never greatful.
I then found another group of friends and everything was fine for awhile. However, they invited this one girl known for being nasty into our group. This girl was a master manipulator and quickly became the 'leader'. She hated me. She tried to push me out. She always made comments about me. She bitched about everyone. She was fake. She was toxic. Finally, I had the courage one day to tell her that I didn't want to be her friend. She then turned this into a big argument and chucked water down me in front of everyone, started shouting at me in the canteen, wrote social media statuses about me and more. She turned my friends against me. She gossiped about me. At this time, I was also being bullied by a group of other girls who hated me and chucked rocks at me. However I soon found another group.
At home, my life wasn't any better. I would still get hit but things developed. I developed and my mothers boyfriend wouldn't stop. He touched my ass and my boobs in front of my mum and passed it off as a "joke". He then started commenting about them and other physical features - ie. "you've got a big nose" "you're big and fat". Not things that an 11/12 year old should hear.
Time pasted and I started eating less. It became a way to cope. I lost 45 pounds in 2 months. I became afraid of food. Yet, people seemed to want to talk to me. And for the first time in my life, I felt good about something. I felt powerful. Little did I know that this was the start of my anorexia at age 14.
This image isn't me at my worst. I got so thin that I could count each of my ribs.
When I was 15, everything started getting better a bit. However, it was in the summer when things went downhill. I started getting even more consumed by my disorder and it told me no one liked me, etc. I tried to ignore it the best I could. But one day I logged onto snapchat and had lots of messages from my friends. They were with my bestfriend. The one who moved away. I was furious so I texted her asking why she didn't tell me. She made up lies saying how she never liked me, how I'm "too thin", how she liked them more. I didn't know how to react. This incident only fueled my disorder. I lay in bed all week and hardly ate. The voices got stronger and I couldn't take it anymore. I reached to my bedside cabinet and readied for some iron tablets. I drank fistfuls. I hated myself and blamed myself for everything. My mum came in because she heared me crying and she saw the pills and rushed me to hospital. They then checked me over and evaluated me. To this day, I think I took iron tablets as I didn't really want to die, but I was unsure at the time.
A few months later, a boy joined our school. He became obsessed with me. He used to tell everyone he loved me. This led to me being picked on even more. I didn't want to hurt him so I put up with it. It then got to the point when I couldn't take it anymore so I told him very politely that I didn't like him back in that way. He then told me he was going to kill himself because of this! I panicked and tried to stop him so I got his number and rang him. He then told me that he's got a present for me. I asked "what?" And he simply replied "a knife." I was confused and he said he was going to give it to me at school! I then spent the whole night worrying and I contacted the school and they had to check his bags. I had numerous panic attacks that day. They then checked his phone and found indecent images of children and disabled people on there. I was scared. They contacted his family and I'm not sure what happened then. I just remeber being told that he is not aloud to speak to me and that if he does we will get a restraining order against him. This event has scarred me badly.
I don't know how to end this, but I hope that I will have more happier story's to tell in future as I'm still just 16 and have a better life I need to live.
**I would just like to classify that when I say foreign I don't mean it in a nasty way! I was just young at the time it happened so I was really confuesed with everything that happened.