Never have I been so glad of the incompetency of the UK's Network Rail!

My guess is that Britain's railways are made of recycled hard candy, you know the sort of stuff that you buy on a day at the beach or is given to you by a colleague who was returning from holiday and forgot to get you something more thoughtful or just generally good to commemorate that fact that they've been lounging about for 2 weeks while you've been covering all their work.
The candy sits in your cupboard for months if not years, not being eaten, until eventually you decide to throw it away. However, rather than going into the landfill with the rest of your waste, this sickly sweet substance is reconstituted into tracks that trains run on. It's a great idea or at least it would be if the "extreme" weather conditions that we have have in the UK didn't freeze, dissolve, warp or bend the substance out of shape, causing delays on a weekly basis.

By "extreme" weather conditions in the UK, I mean

Early March - My god it's snowed for 2 whole days, stock up on supplies, baton down the hatches, prepare yourself mentally to have to eat at least one of your loved ones and of course cancel all public transport

Late March - It's raining! Wow it's raining a lot. Why are all of those houses that we built on flood plains continually flooding every time it rains a lot? Oh well at least we've got something to talk about because everything you've heard about Brits liking to talk and generally complain about the weather is true. Oh and better cancel all public transport too because rain in the UK is such an unprecedented event that we just couldn't prepare for it!

April - Heat Wave! It's 25 degrees! Pasty bodies are everywhere, ice-cream is consumed by the tonne. People forget they spent the last 6 months griping about how cold it is and start whining that it's too hot! Once the temperature exceeds 20 degrees in the UK it becomes illegal to cook or consume any food inside your house - fact!
Hospital wards become overrun with people who can't BBQ meat to a safe standard or who are suffering from chronic brain freeze as the result of ingesting too many ice-lollies. Oh and of course it's too "hot" to run the trains.

Such is the life of a British commuter that the slightest change in climate can bring about catastrophe. However today's raft of train cancellations due to the unseasonably good weather we are currently experiencing has lead to an unexpected Friday bonus as I am now forced to "work" from home.

So here I am sitting back, replying to a few emails to give the powers that be at least the impression that I am being somewhat productive with my time. In reality I'm sipping a nice cool Gin & Tonic, surfing the internet and allowing my pasty white legs their first view of the sun for about 8 months! Scientists now believe that they are so incredibly white that they are reflecting enough of the sun's rays back into space to reverse the process of global warming.

All in all it's turning out to be a pretty good day for me and mankind in general.

Let me know how you are spending your Friday or indeed the upcoming weekend.

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