Death after Life: Dealing with disaster before it happens

Yesterday, I posted an article because of the Barcelona event and today it was a little closer to home but of a different sort.

A man wielding a knife killed two and wounded 6 others in the market square of the city of Turku in Finland. These kinds of events are rare here and will be plastered through the press for some time no doubt. The Finnish police are thankfully death shy and instead of peppering him with bullets, shot him in the leg three minutes after the attack.

However, this is not the core reason for the post.

Uncomfortable silence

I was on my phone when I noticed a twitter push message about the attack and had a quick read. This was around four o'clock, a few minutes after the event. Turku is not a big city and I have friends there so I messaged one on WhatsApp who I talk to often. She has a young child the same age as my daughter and we often chat about baby nonsense. I tease her about living in Turku because there is a traditional rivalry between that city and mine. I asked: More crazy in Turku?

No reply. The message didn't even verify as having been delivered.

Although that is uncommon, it is not out of the ordinary parameters either. An hour or two later however, and I still hadn't heard from her, nor had the message been delivered. Just in case, I checked her Facebook page and Instagram to see if they had been updated. Nothing there either.

I mentioned this to my wife who dismissed it. My wife has never met this friend of mine so there isn't a lot of connection there. I know that there is nothing that I could do if something had happened anyway and I am not prone to jump to conclusions but I was a little concerned that a person who nearly always responded in a few minutes, hadn't even checked her phone.

An hour or so later, I walked in as my wife was watching the news reports on the attack as it said that a woman had been killed. While pushing a pram. I paid attention at this point to my breathing which shallowed slightly. I still was thinking about the odds and the chances but I perceived that my body did change as the odds increased.

I checked my phone. Still nothing, still not received.

The most horrible thoughts

Now, this is when I thought the worst. Intentionally. I spent a minute or two calmly thinking about if the victim was my friend, what I would do, what I should do, can I help her husband (whom I have never met), and a few other minor things that would likely come up with confirmation.

It is common for people to think the worst when something like this happens but generally it is due to a panicked mind that skips and jumps in an attempt to process what it does not want to actually process. I am trying to reduce this reaction and use it instead to prepare and learn how my body reacts. Generally though, I have to simulate an event whereas this provided a real-life opportunity.

The reason I am practicing this is in an actual case of an emergency or great personal loss to myself or someone close to me, there is very little help and guidance a panicked mind can provide at the very time it is required. This seems to be a flaw in the design of our mind but I tend to think that this component has not developed as fast as our technology and society.

A terrible past

Disaster and loss were common place occurrences in human history not too long ago and those we would have loved died much younger and likely in some quite terrible ways. Death, and injury leading to death would have been a normal part of life. For many around the world though, the security of life has taken away this common view and the expectation is that all are meant to live to a ripe old age.

Everything seems curable and if one dies 'young' it is due to bad luck rather than the ways of the world. Cancer, aids, gunshot wounds, birth defects all seem to be a hurdle to cross but one that is surmountable most of the time. Not long ago, the list of ways to die was much longer and more available to witness by everyone.

This likely primed our ancestors to having a different view of death due to its readiness to be delivered and rather than a great or tragic loss, it became a solemn celebration that represented and reinforced some part of their belief systems. Perhaps it was a return to the earth or a heaven but this has become lost as through experience, we see ourselves as somewhat invincible.

Believe it or pretend to believe it

If one believes in heaven, why would death be a loss, why would it be something to fear, no matter how it came about? But many do fear it as the invincibility of youth slowly dissipates into the insecurity of old age as questions of mortality and life are more earnestly viewed.

I am not concerned with life after death as what will be will be regardless of what beliefs are actually held within an individual in my opinion. What is important to me however is life before death and how to both live a good life and continually reduce suffering for myself and others. I think those two walk hand in hand personally but others may hold differing views.

This thoughts and mental simulations I run many may find morbid and question why one would rather spend time thinking of the negative rather than the positives. For me, this is about increasing the positive by decreasing the impact the negative has by reducing either the height or longevity of a negative event. It is about learning to let go before one even has it in the hand.

If one realises the irrelevance of a diamond before one has one, if one is acquired, it has very little value past being a pretty rock. Which makes giving it to away or losing it from the pocket a rather minor event.

The negative is the same in my thinking. Realising the unimportance of what could be or what was helps bring the focus back to what is in the here and now, the only place we can actually move. This helps me better understand and better act in my opinion even though I am rarely as efficient at it as I would like to be. Overall, I am slightly more useful to those around me and my world for doing this though.

This post expanded out fast and I have much more to say still but I will save it for another time. A few hours ago, my friend messaged me and then checked in on Facebook as safe. She was on a plane with her family heading for a short holiday.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]