Don't Quit - Thursday Motto? Beginning Of A Depression Or Just An Overthinking Episode?

"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will;
When the road your're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low and the debts are high;
And you want to smile but you have to sigh.
When all is pressing down a bit -
Rest if you must, but don't you quit
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint on the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."

John Greenleaf Whittier

The poem it's very similar to Kipling if you ask me, but what is the funniest thing it came at the perfect moment. I am in a lame period, when I cannot put myself together to do much. It could be the beginning of a soft depression. I have no idea what I want and I am in the mood to quit everything. I was even considering to cancel my reservation for Lisbon Steemfest.

I learned not to take decision very fast, though I am quite impulsive. Sometimes is good to let the night pass and then just see if the next day will feel the same. But sometimes there is no resolution. Like for me now. I have no idea what I want, which is my direction if I am unhappy or just bored.

I took a seek day on Tuesday trying to see if I can figure it out. To select the signals towards the next direction. The result was a bit concerning. I found none, my intuitive self was mute and let my rational mind in control. Kind of a bad decision as my mind goes rounds and is the worst decision taker ever known on this Planet. I other feel it and go with all the flow or I dont and then I stir around in the search of a conclusion.

On my lunch break today the weather was a bit gray so I decided to walk around and search my life meaning on the streets. I found it in the image below :D This place is like 5 min from my working place, but today I was impressed by the combination of the square and round shapes, clouds and clear sky,almost quiet street for a second on a very busy crossroad. Maybe I was looking in the wrong place all the week. Maybe this quest for the next step is nothing more than a round clock on a square building.

Or maybe is autumn and my soul is preparing for the scary cold winter feeling. When pink dreams and the flowers are in the pictures in New Zeeland. Maybe is just a transition or maybe not. I will meditate more and go for a long walk alone this weekend. I kind of miss already the feeling of staying long outside. Of late sunsets and happy little frogs. I guess I never liked autumn, it was always been in between skying and sunbathing :)

Anyway I will buy someone flowers tomorrow to fix my broken soul and I still not decided what should I with Steemfest? Maybe in a while.....

Undecided hugs,

Teodora