The Slippery Slope of Deception

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It is so much easier for a person to be tempted to deceive than to tell the hard truth, but relationships are built one truth at a time.

Children learn at a very young age to say, "I didn't do it, take it, or see it," to avoid chastening. The Bible says we all lie. You don't have to believe the Bible, but I challenge anyone to declare, "I never lied."

But why do we lie? The first instinct is to protect our own happiness and agenda. No one will miss that cookie, we decide. If we take it and lie, no harm no foul and so we become better liars.

Truth hurts, sometimes. In the face of punishment or even displeasure we tell that little white lie rather than own up to the truth. We failed to do something or we did something that affected someone or something else.

What happens to our hearts when we lie? Once we get away with one lie, we become more confident that we can repeat the same lie, or one similar, and no one is the wiser. We get what we want and someone stays happy.

The moral dilemma begins to arise that we can no longer be completely honest to the person we lied to. We need to remember the lie and perhaps repeat it. We successfully cover up a choice to do something we are told by someone not to do.

What is wrong with that? Is the person setting the expectation asking too much of us? What will be the consequence of telling the truth? Changing our behavior to suit someone else rubs against our natural desires.

What is the correct response to a directive we don't agree with?
Discussion. Argument. Defiance. All those things involve interfacing with someone who we are tempted to lie to and explaining what we feel is a better outcome for us.

It's not us against them. It's really the basis of healthy communication and building relationships based on transparency. If we don't agree we can opt to say so and do what we want and tell that person why. If this damages relationships rather than builds them what are we building? A house of cards and inevitably a false relationship with someone we must pretend with.

Every day we are faced with opportunities to be honest and share our needs with each other. Every time we lie, we choose to place a wall between us and another human.

I have lied. To say otherwise would make me a hypocrite. I want to be transparent in my relationships, and to accomplish that I must become vulnerable. At the same time, each truth I share can make me stronger in my own convictions.

Sometimes communication about my desires to be different in my choices can change my circle. Some people won't accept my truth. Those people can agree to disagree or can decide I'm not their cup of tea.

Truth is either a unifier or divider. The choice is ours to make and the risks are very real and not to be taken lightly. The territory is often unfamiliar and frightening, but the relationships forged are stronger with each successive honest disclosure.

What will it be the next time we are tempted to lie?

This is my five minute freewrite using prompt deceive
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