“Sometimes your best way to deal with shit is not to hold yourself as such a precious little prize.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
It is true, those who complain the most about being single are typically the most distanced from reality when it comes to how they view love. Entitlement is an absolute romance killer. Fantasy has a place in childhood, but one day you grow up and realize there is no "prince charming" who will love you no matter what nasty attitudes you may hold dear. Just as potential "prince charming" does, a woman has to prove herself. It seems typical for females to have higher standards than males, so an imbalance is formed.
I have had male and female friends complain about being single. Typically the females were totally oblivious to their own flaws and thought they should be loved and doted on no matter what, and they thought if anyone needed to change it was the guys they were chasing (they chased jerks leaving nice guys on the sidelines.) Typically the men who complained about being single were "nice", and all too ready to dote on a female, and came off as naive about the brutality of the dating world, thinking all they needed to do was surround a girl in material gifts etc.
Based on my observations, I have a feeling that many well-meaning mothers give their sons horrific dating advice that sets them up for being walked all over by women in the future. As for girls, they grow up with their parents telling them how special and precious they are, and not to waste themselves on just any man. I can see how it might create a warped distortion of their own romantic value, making them shun plenty of worthwhile partners because they are still looking for the altruistic Romeo who puts them on a pedestal as their parents do.
But partnership isn't any of that. It's not romantic by any fantasy definition. It's more like finding a best friend you can be attached to the hip with (and attracted to), and then after the "honeymoon" period fades it's a continual effort to make it work with compromises, sharing both difficult and mundane tasks, and general team work. To want to find someone that is going to make your dreams come true, like a "Hollywood" romance played out in real life, such an expectation is deluded at best, parasitic at worst.
Your comments are way too good for Steemit. :D
They way you're usually supposed to do it is "wow nice post good information". Kidding aside, well said and I agree.
And like I said, not that it's any of my business what these people do, but them complaining about being alone year after year after year - yet, unable and unwilling to look for the flaw in themselves - is amusing, if nothing else. Irritating if you get exposed to it too often.
Oh okay whoops.
"Good read, I enjoyed it!"
Haha, that's probably what happens when new Steemers take the mass following and commenting advice to an extreme. Thanks by the way!
Sure it's their own business, but they also have taken their personal business to the public eye. And I felt your critique was coming from good intentions. It's the kind of "tough love" people need to hear sometimes (whenever they are actually ready to hear it.) It's not uncommon to have trouble objectively viewing the root of one's own problems. And perhaps some people will never snap out of their routine, but for others the external insight can offer them a key once they are receptive to looking at their problems from a different angle.