I used to have a cool job flying jets in the Navy. Now I fly a desk and dream about the good old days. The people I worked with were awesome from the guys turning wrenches to my fellow aircrew...with names like Butthead, Scro, Bluto, Cowpie, and Meat. All non-PC and all cool as hell. This favorite poem could be about any number of them:

"Once upon a time a pilot found a beautiful princess and asked her, "Will you marry me?"
The princess said, "No!"
And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drove fast cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank German beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and blew enormous farts and everyone laughed and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and he left the toilet seat up.
The end."