Hi, guys. It's @yoonsg. Today's story is about my big and the very first failure in my life that happened last year. Hope you guys enjoy reading.

Looking back after a big failure

As some might have expected my big failure is failure in crypto-investing or maybe i might call it gambling.

I am a 23 years old guy who just got out of the army, which is mandatory for all Korean men, and a student of the best university in the nation. I was born in a comparatively wealthy family and was born with very good genes. I was the smartest kid between the smartest kids and in high school I occasionally scored #1 in national tests. I NEVER experienced big failures before 2017. All the girls, all the tests, all the money I wanted were in my hands. After all, I wasn't a greedy man and that makes it hard to fail. I didn't want every girl to love me. I only wanted one who I loved. I didn't want to get everything right on every test. I was happy enough with grade Cs. I didn't want something too expensive for my age. 100$ was a big money for me.

THEN, the big failure struck.

I saved all my money I earned during the mandatory military service for two years and I saved about 10,000$ including the money I had before joining the army. Today, February 5th, what I have got is 1,200 bucks. I thought I was a very smart person and still I think so and I also thought there would never be a failure in my life. In my sight, God was helping me throughout my life.

I first started investing in May, 2017. To be exact, May 24th, I remember. The day the Korean bitcoin price rose up to 4000$. At the time blockchain and cryptocurrency looked like steam engines in 18C. So, I made long positions with 4x leverage. I started with 1,000$ and lost 400$ on that day only. I was very discouraged and just got off the train, but after few days I came back with more money. I bought 4x margins with 2,500$ which makes it 10,000$. I earned 2,500$ from it. Looking back now, I should've ran my portfolio with only the revenue, but I was a young man who never invested in anything and I had the fear of missing out. I thought now is the lowest price it can have. I only traded with 4x leverages since I have once made big moneys in short time. July came and as everybody knows the market collapsed. I was losing money bits by bits before July and it bursted in July. I lost about 4,000$ in July. After that, I made a vow to myself I would never come back to crypto.

December came, all coins rose up to the moon.

Again, the fear of missing out kicks back in. Regretting why I didn't hold all the assets I had in July, I came back to the market. Many optimistic expectations came out from here and there. I want to believe that it's a lie, but like a curse, I came back on December 22nd. I bought Cardano at 0.6$ which dropped to 0.4$. I was planning to hold so I did not panic, but I tried to make more coins so I sold around 0.4$ expecting it to go down more. It came back up in around 5 minutes. I waited for the lower price but it did not come. So, I decided to buy another coin and I held it and January, February passed. I wasn't able to withstand it anymore.

Thought of killing myself, going back in time...

I wasn't able to understand before, why people kill themselves. The very first failure in my life made me think of death. I was at last able to understand the people who died on the behalf of their very own hands. I am a very optimistic person, so I recovered pretty fast but it was very horrifying since I have never thought I could kill myself.

**Recovery from the bottom

I lost money, but I learned something very essential in life. That made me recover. Life is just like the roller-coasting charts. Someday, it might hit the very bottom. Someday, you might want to die. A continuous function like life always have the maximums and minimums mathematically just like the charts. Lows might lead to higher highs and highs might lead to lower lows. Before the collapse, I didn't know there were bottoms in my life. Maybe, I still haven't reached the bottom. BUT, now I believe, there would be new ATHs in my life. I'm done with investing in crypto but I will still write on Steemit. I write in both Korean and English so please enjoy my posts. Follow and Upvotes would be a great support. Thank you for reading!😊