HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
Honesty and trust is the bedrock of every relationship. While it may seem that it is necessary to come clean and let your partner into your past, you need to understand that people process information different and react differently to it. We have all had akward pasts and things we aren't too proud of. Is it necessary to share every detail with a loved one? Talking about your past can give your partner an insight of who you are and what you've been through but it can also bring about doubts and insecurities. So many relationships have ended because one partner felt the need to share certain information. Before you do do, always weigh the pro and the cons, understsnd your partner's ability to digest such information and what their reaction would be.
How much information is too much?
There are certain Information that are a must share. No matter how awkward or embarrassing such information is. These include:
1. Your current health status: it is important to let your partner in on the diseases you have, treatment undergoing or possible solutions you are looking at. STIs and STDs should never be hidden from a partner and other debilitating illnesses.
2. Post traumatic events: not many people recuperate totally from traumatic events. Sharing them with your partner will give them a better idea of how to relate with you.
3. Reasons why your last relationship ended: talking about things like this will help your partner understand your deal breaker and it will guide him or her in avoiding such mistakes.
Things you should never talk about
1. Your crazy sexual adventurers: you don't want to be sharing how many sexual partners you have had. This might affect how your partner sees you. If however you feel comfortable talking about it, the choice is yours.
2. History of cheating: perhaps you don't want your partner finding out from someone else how much of a cheat you are in the past but I'll suggest you keep such information private as it can trigger jealousy and insecurity. You don't want your partner thinking you may still cheat on him or her since you have such past record.
3. Family drama: not everything about your family should be known by your partner. Whatever your family has done in the past should be kept away from them. Do not hamper their relationship with your family just because you see the need to be unnecessarily honest.
If your partner starts asking you things about your past that you aren't comfortable sharing, it is always good to let them know you aren't quite ready to talk about it yet. Having a partner who never talks about their past even after you've told them yours, be patient with them. We all move at different rate. Be understanding and assure them of your availability whenever they are ready to talk but if after several months they never do, the choice thenis yours to stay or to walk away.