Accidents and Near-death Experiences (not part of a contest) Part 1

In the last few days I’ve seen a few posts (that are actually part of a contest) about near-death experiences. This prompted a discussion about the subject with a few friends. I came to the conclusion that even me almost kicking the bucket a few times ends up as funny stories I get to tell.

So here are some of my serious/funny accidents.

Between a Tractor and a Hard Place

Source

Back when I was still in school, I used to work part-time during the long school holidays. One of the jobs I worked was with a diesel mechanic, who mainly worked on tractors and other farming equipment. On one particular day, we were tasked with servicing an old Massey Ferguson tractor. I stood at the back of the workshop and guided my one colleague as he reversed the tractor in.

I was supposed to tell him when to stop so that we have enough room to move around the tractor comfortably without taking up too much space on the workshop floor. So there I was, motioning for him to keep coming. When he reached the predetermined mark, I told him to stop. He promptly pulled on the engine kill lever to stop the tractor (the breaks were not working right which is partly why it needed a service). He stared back at me, holding the engine-kill lever in his hand, swearing profusely.

The tractor kept coming at the wall--with me in the middle and nowhere to go. By the time I realised the situation, he was really close. I bolted up the three-point hitch on the back and jumped off the tractor as it hit the wall. My colleague also jumped off and managed to kill the engine from the spot the lever broke off of, stopping the tractor before it could go through the wall completely.

Falling for a Girl

Source

When I finished with school, I ended up studying IT as a support technician. This meant I had to live in Kimberley (the nearest city from where I lived) during my studies. I lived in an apartment complex surrounded by high walls and palisade gates.

One of the girls who also lived there wanted to introduce me to her friend (and try to hook us up). We organised a little get-together at my place. We ended up talking and drinking and listening to music for a few hours. They decided it would be a fun idea to go running around on the sports fields of the school right across the road from the complex. It was late already and none of us had access to the gate keys so we decided to scale the wall like normal people would in our situation.

Instead I thought it would be a good idea to scale the palisade gate.

Standing upright on top of the 2m high gate, I got ready to jump down. Figured out my landing. Readied my muscles. Then I jumped. My boot caught between two of the spikes. I fell forward with the momentum and slammed, head-first, onto the paving in front of the gate. The next part of me that hit the ground was my right arm folded under my body. This knocked the wind out of me and all I could do was gasp for air that refused to be breathed in.

At the same time, I realised how incredibly stupid I had been and started laughing. Well, I tried to. Still could not breathe. The girls made it over the wall without incident and rushed to where I was--obviously worried. When they saw how I looked and that I couldn’t breathe while convulsing (actually, laughing), they panicked. Being a little drunk really did not help.

Eventually I was able breathe enough that my laugh no longer looked like I was convulsing, and tell them that I was okay. At least, that I was not about to die. When I got up, I realised my right arm was aching badly and I thought I broke it. A short while later it was confirmed that I, thankfully, did not break it. I was still able to move my hand and fingers, even if barely. The friend I was supposed to hook up with was so spooked that she wanted to go home. I offered to walk with her. I was the middle of the night and that was the least I could do after I ruined our supposed blind date.

I really looked terrible by that time. I had no idea, of course. I had scraped my face on landing and it was slightly bleeding. That did not bother me--still trying to impress the girl. I got her home safely, then went to my one friend who also lived in the complex. He offered to take me to the hospital the next day if I felt it was necessary. It was. I was pretty sore. I got to the hospital, got x-rays, and found a hairline crack on my elbow that the doctor missed. My friend went so far as to suggest to the doctor I had to see the gynecologist. The doctor was confused until my friend explained that I fell my .... off (South Africans will get it).

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I think this is enough for now. I still have a few more to tell you, so keep an eye out for them in the next couple of days.