I want to be an actor, but am afraid to follow my dream

‘My passion is to act but only my best friend knows it.’ Photograph: Alamy

 The dilemma Hey! This is my dilemma. I’ve always wanted to be an actress, since I was very little. My passion is to act. Still, it’s a secret and only my best friend knows it because I could never tell my parents. I can’t bring myself to do it. They want me to study a traditional career, so I thought of architecture, which would be an interesting choice even if it’s not my passion. Also, I’ve thought of acting parallel as I study architecture. But, I have many doubts in my mind... I’m afraid that the career will take up a lot of my time and I will never fulfil my dream. What should I do? Thank you very much!

Mariella replies Interesting. I’m not a career advice expert, having stumbled along myself grasping opportunity where it presented itself. But we’re at the beginning of movie award season so it’s as good a time as any to be thinking about the acting profession.First, let me say I have enormous respect for those who choose an age-old profession so frequently paved with poverty and despair. Acting counts as a zero-hours contract and must rank among the least reliable career paths to be stuck on. Do you know what the ratio of success to failure is? Last I heard it was somewhere around 90% of actors who are not actually acting. So your combination proposal sounds like you may have the right idea.I’m certainly not going to advise you against pursuing your heart’s desire – to even have such a compulsion puts you in a small minority and makes you lucky indeed. For the vast majority, work is just about the money. I count myself lucky that I’ve managed to turn my favourite hobbies into paid employment, but opportunism isn’t particularly fulfilling and I am always enormously jealous of those whose jobs consume them entirely.Twenty years ago I might have advised against choosing such an insecure profession, but in the 21st century workplace, following your heart has much to recommend it. It doesn’t mean you’ll get to fulfil your dreams, but at least you’ll have something to sustain and drive you forward when all around you the weary and uninspired have long given up hope. 

 Nowadays there’s no such thing as a job for life and the cradle-to-grave career progression we once took for granted harks back to an altogether more innocent age. In these demanding days we all need to be thinking on our feet, batting off pesky robots offering cheap alternatives to a human workforce, and displaying versatility, creativity and an open mind about our career journeys.Being an actor can be all consuming when you’re in work, but when you are not it offers only empty hours and months when the phone doesn’t ring. Such circumstances are now the reality for a far wider range of workers, who are finding their skill-sets rendered obsolete faster than they can acquire new ones. I certainly wouldn’t have had the resilience or self-confidence to embark on acting as a full-time job and I can only assume that a trust fund sustains those unprepared to take on alternative work.I’ve seen first hand how passion can insulate you from a reality which so often destroys self-confidence, so you are off to a good start. It may be parental pressure rather than forward thinking that’s encouraging you to consider a dual approach to gainful employment, but for all the reasons I’ve outlined I’m all for it. Architecture, marine biology, entertainment – we’re going to need all manner of skills to take us into the next century. Having said that other skills are likely to become dispensable as global warming, population growth and food shortages loom. So the more strings to your bow the more likely you are to remain in the orchestra.As an architecture student you are likely to find plenty of opportunities to practise acting since, with the demise of repertory theatre, colleges and universities remain solid training grounds for aspiring actors. I’d nurse your ambition, tell your parents it’s a passion that you’re prepared to be practical about and be prepared for a long and rocky road. It might lead to a Bafta – or a job in your local Co-op. And if your architecture skills bear fruit you could find yourself with a part to play not on a stage but in designing how we live in an uncertain future.My advice is to nurture your ambition and grab opportunities where you can, but remain open to alternatives and be light-footed so you don’t get stuck in a rut. The rewards can be immense but, as we roll towards an orgy of red-carpet celebration, remember not only the great performers of the past year but also the vast majority of frustrated actors wishing they could have landed just a single role in those same 12 months.