No one will leave this guide without learning something important.

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If I Only Realize this Now, It's Gotta Be Not Well-Known

If you want to succeed on Steemit, this is the one thing that I feel that actually "know" that will put you on the path to being a greater Steemian, and of course I am willing to share it! Strategy being used loosely, because my main intent wasn't even to achieve this, that still boggles my mind at times.

Sure, any human or bot can make a comment. Play this exercise with me!

1- Think of every Steemit account in terms of a guesstimate
2- First, remove every single auto-generated spam comment
3- Next, take away every beg comment and generic "good post" one too
4- Now mentally remove the titles and headers from your post, and the comments that could be made solely on that information alone

Starting to get quiet here, but we're not done yet.

5- Now take a look at the remaining comments. How many of them feel empty inside?
Like the person took the time to read it, but that's all—they didn't care enough to even try to understand it? It will be hard to recognize at first, but you will feel it.

6- Any comments remaining after this point are the people that I feel will really make a difference on Steemit in the future.

My goal wasn't to be the person at step 6, but to take one more step—blind to all of this. For content that added an extra mark into my own world; it was this.

7- To write such an amazing comment that when the author reads it, they literally need to know who you are.

There's a lot of counter-intuitive logic in this. Isn't their post supposed to be about them, and not you? By commenting a post you are expressing your gratitude to an author. The quality of your comment however makes a difference in whether you are giving a superficial compliment, or was genuinely moved by their piece.

Some of my best comments were made on incredibly long posts and not easy to grasp topics. Luckily for me, I was genuinely intersted in these ideas and expressions. There were parts I could understand, but also new parts that I wanted to explore and add to that current understanding. I appreciated their messages in these writings so much that I set up a little game for myself.

I'm going to write a comment so absolutely ridiculous that the author will not believe it was possible for someone to care as much as THEM about what they wrote. I want them to question everything they thought they knew, expanding their knowledge as much they did mine in sharing their article to me. It's a terrifying albeit a slightly sadistic thing to do, but for good reason.

I say sadistic because I imagined in depth how it would go down. You see, I don't run around commenting everything and promoting myself for the sheer sake of putting my name out there. The author will read my comment, lose their shit, and want to know more about me. This is something I learned earlier on. I mean who exactly could be open minded enough to suspend their beliefs to try to understand yours as close as they possibly could and spin it back with any relationships they could make to your own life? The real secret here is to comment only things that you genuinely love.

I am doubly lucky that I decided not to niche write and have a purpose and message behind all of my posts as well. Because I was able to find their message and brought about an initial surprise, they chose to seek me out and learn if I had real messages in my own writing, and when they were found there was a second surprise for them.

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Circle Jerking Versus Genuine Author Support

From the outside both of these things look identical but this I feel this is an incorrect view. Sure, there may be people who pay to receive votes, or have some kind of behind the scenes deal but what about everyone else who recieves votes from the same accounts on a more consistent basis? It took me a long time to understand this as being one of these authors.

There are two main ways you can be supported on Steemit from blogging, and I've been fortunate enough to experience both in depth. The first one is through producing high-quality, unique and valuable content. Three of my first posts out of the box, put me on front page of trending back in July 2017. All different topics.

I chose to come to Steemit and didn't know a single person or have even one friend here. This shows me that yes, many people and groups do work tirelessly combing through as many posts they can read to discover good content. It can take a while to get discovered but this isn't a myth. I still believe that if you put out the best posts that you can, somebody will eventually find you. For seeing potential in and building up new authors @curie, you guys are the real mvps.

The second method can be misunderstood as "circle-jerking". It's actually in many cases author support. Remember having your reason to write a post and the messages that you want to share with others? I can and have written on a wide variety of categories and topics, so at some point I realized I was still being supported, although it had far less to do with what category my post was actually in.

Imma be real on what author support entails, the good and the bad. Realistically speaking it is impossible to be interested in every topic, all the time... This becomes especially difficult when it's a foreign subject to a reader. Commenting is the one way that we build connections with others. You relate and strengthen a bond with another person, and they will want to be just as thoughtful as you were to them. There appears to be a type of appreciation that exists when someone really wanted to understand you, and a strong connection emerges.

You both will never understand each other 100% but for a moment it feels like you do. I've finally come to grasp that author support means that they may not understand or have interests in a good number of your posts, they aren't actually supporting your posts at this point—they are supporting YOU. -And if what you write is truly important to you, then it becomes important to them too. REALLY. You can write whatever moves you.

And the people that come to support you will have real trust and faith in you that anything you are going to post in the future will have an impactful meaning to others, even if they themselves cannot understand it. There is no additional proof needed other than your solid interactions with them through comments. It does suck sometimes to feel like your post is unvaluable, but if it's already valuable to you, that already makes one person, a second person is more likely.

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Overcoming My Communication Anxiety on Steemit

Let me tell you my biggest Steemit secret on why I haven't commented your post... at least not yet, for anyone who ever wonders this. I have a gut feeling that this happens. I'm working currently on improving this, by only interacting with the posts I truly enjoy and can understand, and shortening my comment legnth.

I spend majority of my time on Steemit worrying about commenting so much that I dedicate time to only comment others and nothing else. I wil be honest, my personal interests are highly specific but if someone I care about posts something that means a lot to them, I take the extra time to try to understand it and really be there for them. I frustrate myself at a blank keyboard a lot, searching for meaning on topics I want to but are unable to understand. Thinking hard about the entirety of their piece and what my comment will be like and the message I want to convey back to them. I try to comment as many people as I can, but I'm always too slow.

I face some issues with being able to read, understand, and reply quickly enough, and although it's not my personal responsibility I'm aware of the impact it has on those around me.

If I'm going to comment someone I want to not only understand the content but the context of the author behind it. There are infinite number of topics, so why did they want to choose this one over everything else? I do the best that I can to be fully in the moment when commenting, because I want to encourage others by appreciating them. We have proof of work and proof of stake, I like to imagine this as proof of reading.

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What Happens When You Don't Communicate?

The empty space from a failure to connect is filled by negative imagination and illusions of lower self-worth, it's not only yourself. The other person not being communicated with also experiences this.
What's funny is the person experiencing anxiety is scared of letting the other person down, but then when they didn't talk, the one non-maliciously being ignored wonders if they matter to the friend with anxiety. Everyone ends up sad, because we were all scared and wanted that reassurance from each other.

You can be scared and still genuinely love and care for others, but it will begin to become destructive unless you can conquer your fears of not reaching out. I've spent unimaginable amounts of time worrying if my comment would be good enough for my receiver. Reflecting on it now, leaving a comment rather than nothing at all is a proper choice in this case. I just figured this out.

I get heart broken when I finally make it to the blogs of friends and authors I really like, but when I get to their page too late, they had left Steemit—or stopped posting regularly. I write some insanely long posts, and so do my friends and followers. Sometimes I'm outside and can't watch a video out of consideration to my current company, other times I have homework or other errands with precedence over people period. Everyone is busy, but too busy to spend some time out of a single day? Sometimes yes, it doesn't mean you are not in my thoughts.

My last post was something I needed to write, giving myself the most honest view I could muster, it had errors and doesn't even have a photo in it. But what I can say is that all 10 comments I received were from people I've commented at legnth in the past on their posts or have given earnest interaction with in my own posts. And they really cared about what I had to say even after I wasn't sure it would have been the best idea to write it at all.

I'm not even going to get into being in such an obscure timezone that oftentimes when I post, many people are asleep. Luckily I came to understand that it didn't have as great of an impact in the big picture.

It's genuinely demotivating to spill yourself into something and feel like it doesn't matter to people at all.

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It's Never as Bad as We Tell Ourselves

I want to tell a few short stories that upon a second look, helped me to realize that my anxiety is an illusion by lending me the courage to work through it.

I have a friend that lost their last job for multiple no calls no shows, throughout their position. They would wake up an hour or two into their shift and would give up all motivation. Their workplace probably thought that they didn't care. What happened was that this friend felt incredibly bummed out for letting everyone down. It's scary to make others feel sadness and pain, and I can see where he's coming from. There was a point in time where if I was late for a shift, I felt worthless and quit jobs entirely. I told him recently to call and tell them when this happens and that although not a great situation, it's still better to try.

I have another friend that was battling through depression, and called me super early one moring. I have a rule not to call at strange times, but they said it was an actual emergency. They absolutely loved their job as a line cook, but due to their state of well-being they didn't feel okay. 3 shifts back to back no call no show and they had called me asking for advice at a complete loss. I told them that they should call their head chef and tell them the truth of what they were going through.

One memory that I cherish dearly is when I used to be a morning prep cook at the first job I really loved. I woke up an hour into my shift one day, and had a borderline heart attack. I really wanted to be there, so I called the store to talk to my manager and tell her I overslept. She laughed and told me to enjoy the day off. The following day, she looked me in the eyes and said;

"If you ever have a problem, tell us what it is. If we know what the problem is, we can help you solve it."

For reasons that I may never fully comprehend, I remember it sometimes. I told my friend that wanted advice this, assuring them that I think if they tried and told the truth, it would work out. They did that, and they still work there now.

Fear can mess up anyone. I used to miss assignments then give up and fail classes that I was initially getting A's and B's in. I felt that I let my classmates and proffesor down each time, and I was not smart enough to pass no matter how hard I tried. When your world falls apart, the last thing that we can do—even when the vision of a brighter future begins to dim is to try. This is what I mean when I say that hope comes from despair.

To anyone who has followed along my last couple of weeks, I was feeling down enough that I missed my entire past week of school. All assignments. Nobody is perfect, and I'm proud of myself now for beginning to see this. I was able to email my professor and explain what was happening with me, and got the extensions required to make up my missing work.

Let me state this again, it's NEVER as bad as we tell ourselves. While a person can exist in a world surrounded by the idea of "not getting your hopes too high", I'm trying to not let my hopes fall through the cracks. This was an excellent journey, and is helping me to learn something I believe to be a missing key fundamental in my own life. There needs to be a balance between caring and action (no matter how scary), otherwise you may drive yourself insane with worry.

The action doesn't even have to be large, a step is infinitely better than none at all. Being brave enough to take the tiniest step forward despite everything is important. I think that I finally realized that an action isn't always equivalent to the sentiment behind it.

Thank you for everything that you stand for and do @clayboyn, @curie, @inquiringtimes, @rok-sivante, and @teamsteem. While this post may exist to help Steemians better understand the importance of commenting, I can better understand and express my thoughts to help me work through my greatest fears and anxiousness by being here. I also wrote it for you to express my gratitude for all that you've done for me. From being on Steemit and interacting with you, THIS is the impact you left on my life.