You need help. And the kind of help you need is kinda like waking up to anarchist thoughts. You are seriously blue pill, and you need to swallow the red pill.

It was quite obvious to me, about two years ago, that this was the way things were going to go. I am deeply sorry that it took you this long to realize things.

You are struggling, trying to find a way to mend this thing you think is just cracked. It is not cracked, it is destroyed. You think you are holding the broken pieces of your wife, but what you are holding is a cracked porcelain doll that you created in you mind. The girl is not there. You have been in love with an image that only existed in your mind for at least a year.

There is no going back. There is no putting the pieces together again.
I know that you think, if you could just sit down and talk things out that you could somehow make it better again. You can't! Everything you said in your video screams you can't.

I can send you links to websites on what to do to fix your eyes so that you can see. If you want them, go to steemit.chat and send me a message.