Most of my life I have been a relatively happy, bubbly being.

Even though in the past I had to do a bazillion things I didn't want to do
and felt I had to follow the rules,
I discovered how to be joyous about it anyway.
I’ve developed an ability to find the gift in nearly every situation,
and used it to my advantage.

I have gone through some deeply dismal times too,
though I was never down enough to consider suicide
or harm myself, like many people I know.
I have spent many months in melancholy,
mostly during times of stressful break-ups in relationships.
My life seems to revolve around my connection with others,
so I am affected greatly when my heart is aching.
There were times I felt I would either die or fly.

Since nothing I did to distract myself
seemed to ease the pain,
I knew I had to find a way to be right with myself.

Since childhood, some of my greatest friends have been my journals.
They always listen to what I have to say
no matter how much I rant and rave,
cry, whine, complain or repeat myself.

If anyone were to read my journals,
they would believe I was always a depressed woman,
as I mostly wrote when I was feeling down
or needed to get dysfunctional swirling thoughts out of my head.
Writing became a daily practice as my personal therapy.




For over a year, during the grave illness and death of my father,
I even wrote in my journal every single day.



I would write and write, until I couldn't squeeze out another word.




The more questions I had about life, the more I would write.
The more I would write, the more I began to realize
that what seemed like problems were actually opportunities
to look within.
And as I looked within, I realized that I had my own answers.

New perspective were showing up on the page and
there I found wisdom I didn't even know I had.


I've kept journals of all kinds -- jr. high journals, art journals,



dream journals, an Artist's Way journal, travel journals,

everday journals,

life changing journals,

everything I love journals,


journals of my own designs,



garden journals,



book writing journals, and others I have tucked away.
One of my top, most dramatically life altering journals,
is my Gratitude Journal.

When I moved to Texas, I was really distracted and frankly annoyed by the amount of trash scattered on the ground. I spent a lot of time traveling on the road with my children, giving attention to the trash, until one day I decided to make a shift in my perspective. The kids and I began looking for all the beautiful, quirky and unusual things we could find. Right away we began noticing synchronicities, puppies, a lady dressed as a cat, the most grand and majestic blossoming tree in the city and a man playing his violin on the highways' median in the pouring rain.

I shifted my focus from seeing the ugly
to seeing the beautiful.
Simply by making a choice
my whole experience was transformed.

I gifted myself a great feeling handmade,
well-bound journal and began to write down the things
I was grateful for everyday--thus I began my Gratitude Journal.
I wrote everyday at least 10 things I was grateful for
starting out with a relatively scanty, mundane list.
Soon it was easy to fill a page or more with
things that made my day,
things I felt good about,
that inspired me,
guided me,
or showed me the beauty that I am.


I went steady with this journal,
a daily date snuggled in my bed at night,
pouring over my days of magnificence.
Even on the days that were difficult or less than my best,
I found something or someone to be grateful for
and the silver lining that always exists
with reigning core energetics of gratitude.

I worked my way through the sadness one word at a time,
dancing gracefully the dance of gratitude.
The longer I kept this journal,
the more I became aware that my days were filled with blessings.
I took on an attitude of gratitude for my whole life.

I have experienced the power of choice.
In finding appreciation and having GRATITUDE
I experience the world through eyes of joy.

Gratitude has been key to helping me find peace within.
Gratitude raises the vibration.
It simply feels good.

I am grateful for another day to be
A - L - I - V - E . . . .

. . . And to share it with my fellow Steemians.

I believe we could all benefit from expressing what we're thankful for.
Today I'm grateful for giggling children on the trampoline.
I'm grateful for this butterfly that is perched on my shoulder,
calmy staring right at my face.
I am exceedingly grateful my amazing life at the @gardenofeden.