Being a Kid vs an Adult (Excuse the typos)

in #blog6 years ago

Being a Kid vs an Adult
My name is Jacob Robert Cardarelli and this is the true story of my life. The true story …not a fake phony fictional one. Not one of fantasy. One that only pertains to my past and reality… This isn’t a movie… I hate the movies and hollywood as much as J.D. Saligner does. People being programmed all day long (Thats why they are called programs), I cant stand it… Lets not get into that right now however, to soon for that. Lets start this story with a fun child hood memory of me, being me, as a kid.
One of my first charished memories was me playing baseball by myself. I would constantly toss a ball in the air to myself and hit it as far as I could to right field… Right field because at our house there was only a fence in right field and not in left. The fence was a hedge drove that divided my house from an apple orchard. All day long I would pretend people were fielding against me and just pretend I was playing a pro game. You know, “bottom of the 9th, bases are loaded” type stuff, shit you just make up in your head to make the game more exciting. I would run the bases pretending I was playing a game. I didn’t mind playing the made up game known as “baseball” back then. Now a days however it feels like all baseball does is put your mind in the false fairytale of being a pro athlete. The chances of making it are 1 in a billion although some people do it, it feels like its a waste of time while your living in the dream still. Living in the dream as oppose to accepting the reality that its a child’s game. Economics in sports is similar to movies in that its all entertainment. Money goes but you don’t get anything tangible out of it.
I didn’t always play by myself either. I played for a team called “The 96 Express”. It was like an all-star team; a collective of the best players my age. You know how parents are. “Rec” baseball included everyone. Anyone could play “Rec” baseball then you had elite teams of the best players that you had to “tryout” for… Baseball was my life from about 6 to 16 years of age. Kind of sucks writing about it now because its all I remember doing as a kid. I don’t blame my parents to much for that. Thats what I liked to do as a kid. Playing baseball was fun but it got out of hand when adults take it to serious. Baseball is a great sport but its not reality. Reality is survival. Things like fishing and shit like that are real things kids do. Baseball is only so real, better then watching tv though no doubt.
When I say adults take sports to seriously, I really mean that. I had a coach in high school, “Owens” was his name, he was an absolute lunatic; constantly trying to relive his glory days by screaming in your face over a dumb game…Screaming so hard you could feel the mist of his spit hitting your face. I say dumb game because he made it dumb when he played to win and didn’t play to have fun. Adults ruin sports when they try to make them to organized. My favorite memories playing sports didn’t involve adults, it involved pick up games of wiffle ball and shit like that. Just hanging out with friends without adults to make the games seem more important then they are. Its just people trying to live through their kids…Everyone knows that.
Anyway (cant help but think of Catcher in the Rye when you start a paragraph with “Anyway”) the team “The 96 Express” was a blast when it came to traveling from tournament to tournament playing ball and having fun in the hotels. I played baseball all of over the country, not only with The Express but also with other teams like the Rochester Junior RedWings or The Stars. Sometimes I feel like I didn’t deserve a spot on those teams because my step father paid the bill most of the times for the team (my step father is a very wealthy guy) but I was a really good fielder and a lowsey hitter and I can honestly say that. These childhood memories are shattered by the reality that some of my closest friends on the team had parents that were “swingers”… I won’t mention names of the parents that were, my parents weren’t. My parents just cheat on each other in secret, which isn’t as bad in my opinion but still is a terrible thing. For those who don’t know what “swingers” are, they are adults that share each others wives. The thought of it disgustes me. People join in holy matrimony only to defile the bond they made with something as disgusting as swinging. Thats why I say the memory is shattered because when your a kid you would never assume adults can do something so vile. When you do find out then you start to realize how fucked up society and people are and it just out right breaks your heart. People act like its justifiable because their partner is “ok” with it but its a terrible thing really. It destroys marriage and families…Adultery is wicked, desires are wicked.
What was I talking about again? Oh yes, baseball. I have a lot of good memories playing the game, it wasn’t all bad. Its just adults that are delusional and tend to ruin all the fun. Tommy Wagner was a good friend of mine and a phenomenal ball player. Me and Tommy … I mean Tommy and I skied a lot together to. Freestyle skiing, now that something I got really good at. We were some of the best skiers on the mountain and we are practically celebrities at that place because of it. I enjoyed freestyle skiing much more then baseball. The best part about it is that there was no coaches. No one to tell you what to do, just you and the mountain. The adrenaline of flipping in the air was amazing. Its like time just stopped while you were floating in mid-air. Amazing. I still hope to freestyle ski and get back into it. Mind you I’m 23 years old writing this so I still have a shot in improving my skiing game. Tommy and I made each other good at skiing. Its was like friendly competition always trying the 1 up each other. Its not like we would play a made up game like baseball. There is no winners or losers in skiing. There was no organization and thats what made it fun. Just you and the slope… As we got older Tommy’s father didn’t like him skiing so he wouldn’t get hurt for baseball. He let him play football however where he broke is leg and it ended up hurting his game even more. Shit like that just didn’t make sense to me. Parents just don’t make sense sometimes. I know why he really didn’t want Tommy skiing. Its because people smoked pot while skiing and he didn’t want him to be around that type of crowd. I smoked pot in high school but never on the mountain. Back then I didn’t need to, the adrenaline of flying through the air was enough.
When it comes to sports, they are the most fun when you are young. When you become a man you don’t have time to play games you have to work. I wish I worked more when I was younger to be perfectly honest. Would have made me more prepared for the real world when it hit me. When the work life hits you it hits you hard. It wouldn’t of been such an adjustment if I didn’t play so many games when I was younger. Its just made up shit. Games are anyway. It isn’t the real world you know? Adults actually hurt their kids by making them play so much. I got tired of swinging a bat everyday . I played so much baseball to the point I quit my senior year. It was just to much at that point. I couldn’t take being a slave to society or my parents anymore so I quit. When I quit I didn’t pick anything up but rap music. Rap music now that is something I love and can never get old.

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I was married before, I remember one time I took my wife at the time to a tool rental place. We wanted to rent a rototiller so to plant a food garden. The guy behind the counter was jokingly wanting me to switch his wife with mine. Thing was that my wife was jokingly agreeing with that, smiling and laughing. The guy even said that I might even like his wife. That was a sick thought in my mind. I was the only one that wasn't laughing. Our marriage didn't last. She left after awhile and I signed the divorce papers when I found out she was living with someone in another state. Over the years I found out that she married at least three times after she left me. Things of the flesh can never satisfy that strange hunger for more and more. I did fornicate after she left me. It took some years, but I came back to Jesus and the scriptures. I wouldn't mind getting married again, but only in the Lord. In the mean time I'll just stay single. People can be swingers, but they don't know that they are tearing their souls by doing so.

Thank you David for sharing. Thats when life gets tough. When you give so much love to a person and they disappoint you by giving so little back. Its horrible really. Adultery is a wicked thing but people excuse themselves because its "legal" but in the book of the law it is very illegal. All you can do is ask for God to seek justice and never create justice yourself. We have to learn to forgive people so that we can be forgivin. I wouldnt mind getting married either but like you said it would have to be made on Gods term not on our own. Or in other words "mans terms"

Yes, we do have to forgive or we won't be forgiven. Thank you Jacob.

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