Repressants

I’ve been on antidepressants. Not recently, but for many years I took them. I didn’t have better coping skills back then and so I looked to the pills when things got too crazy, too stressful, or when there was a lingering sadness that I could not seem to overcome otherwise. I’ve been off of antidepressants now for 4 years.

The pills took the edge off the sadness. They keep you out of the darkest bottom of your mental pit. But the problem is that you can’t hide, avoid, or deny parts. My experience with antidepressants is that they’re like a little numbing agent preventing you from the “danger” of fully experiencing the strongest of emotions. But in that way they numb both the highs and the lows. Frankly, calling them “antidepressants” is a brilliant little spin attempt, and probably from the marketing department. They are more aptly called repressants in that they repress the full experience of life.

Reading “The Invitation” by Oriah I find this passage that sums it up nicely.

“We are afraid of pain—emotional and physical—and we want to believe that there is a way around experiencing our own sorrow, that we can avoid the pain and lose nothing of the fullness and joy of living. It’s simply not true.”

Holding yourself back in life or denying your dreams out of the singular focus on safety, security, risk avoidance, etc is like applying a topical antidepressant to everything. You might successfully avoid getting hurt that way, but you will also successfully avoid experiencing your full potential vitality. You lose part of your opportunity to experience the “fullness and joy of living.”

We can’t hide, deny, or avoid PARTS...of who we are, of our emotions, or of our dreams. Numbing or avoiding the potential pains robs us of ever experiencing true joy and freedom.

How do you chose to live?