Hitting the Rock Bottom. A True Cancer Story (Part 1)

Before anything , I want to say that I am here taking over this account from @chinese-gandalf for a good cause. I am writing for my funding project specially for Sarawak Children Cancer Society (SCCS). SCCS is an organisation that helps a lot of family whose kids is fighting against cancer. Helps are vary. For instance, providing financial, physical, logistic, medical and emotional needs.Whatever I earn from my writing, all of it will goes to the organisation. Soon, I will share the official appointment letter.

This Part 1 is the Introduction and I hope you guys will follow my story part by part. I will greatly appreciate all of the supports and kindness. I am going to share my experiences on My Brother's Cancer Fighting Journey. I am not a professional writer but I am writing with all my heart. The main objective for me to write all this up is to raise awareness among us. Not all of us are aware of cancer. This is because some cancer is obvious but most of it is silent and deadly.

This project in raising fund for SCCS is because I want to help the family who are in need. When my brother fell sick, we did not go nor do we talk about how we exactly feel. My parents did not even want to say the word "Cancer". Whenever asked, they will say, "he is sick". I wouldn't say that it's annoying to hear those words but what's wrong with cancer? My mom was not keen for us to share anything about my brother publicly. I don't really know why because we did not say much about it too as a family. I know SCCS because one of my friend work there. She's the one who keep on personal messaging me with all the positive words and what not. They even reach out for my brother in Instagram. To share this coming journey is something that means a lot to me. That's why I pledged to donate all the earning for SCCS. Knowing that a child is fighting out there, a family that is in need of all sorts of supports really breaks my heart. Everyday i prayed for those fighters soul who succumbed and for those who are still fighting.

I am Jasmine and I am writing in hope story that I share will be and inspiration to others.

It all begins 2 years ago. My brother was still young and in the phase where he himself wouldn't imagine that he has cancer. None of us expect that either.Sometimes we took cancer signs lightly not knowing it can be very serious. When my brother first got diagnosed, he was only 15 years old. Abang is what we called him because he is the first son in our family. His symptoms were quite severe but none of us know that it was actually the bad cancer. He had nose bleeding. The nose bleeding were so random. His nose even bled when he's asleep. It bleeds so much to the point the blood looks like its clumped and blackish in color. We thought it was just because of sinuses, sometimes we blame the hot weather (ASian MuCH).

Besides constant nose bleeding, he experienced fatigue and there's one lump on the side of his neck. Again, we become our own doctor. We thought it was because of the lack of iodine. Until he developed another lump on the other side of his neck and nose bleeding got uncontrollable until blood came out of his mouth. Thats the time we panicked and my parents brought him for further check up.

Check up after check up then the results day was out. I remember that time I was in campus and I was attending my lectures. I had a thought of it might be cancer but I was trying so hard not to be all anxious. After class, I drove back home. But when I reached home , my parents and my brother weren't there. Only my sister and my two younger siblings. I asked my sister if she knew anything but she said let's just wait for them to come home and they will explain it to you. I waited nervously for them to come back home. I asked my sister again and again to tell me "if it isn't that bad why can't you tell me straight?"

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Few hours later they arrived home. I followed my mum and asked her about the results. She didn't say anything. None of them say anything. I was getting so frustrated but then I know they're tired so i just went to kitchen until my mum come to me and showed me a bottle of juice. She said "People said that this juice is good for people like Abang." I asked her "What do you mean it's good for people like him? What's wrong with him?" She didn't say anything. She stood still in front of me with her teary eyes, she said "It is Cancer".

I looked at her then I turned my face away from her. I kept telling myself that it wasn't real. That all that is just a bad dream. My body felt numb, my heart shattered. It felt like my soul just left my body, it was so, unreal.

It felt like I was hitting the rock bottom that day. Even whenever I share this story. It still feels like it is just a nightmare.

I will continue this story in the next posting. I hope I can get more support on this project and help those who are in need. For now, thank you and good night from the land of Hornbill, Sarawak.