Why Should I Let Those Circle Kings and Queens Spill My Blood and Break My Bones?
Sometimes, if we strain ourselves enough - though never without the quiet betrayal of our own being - we can certainly please the world.
Hurting ourselves to make the world happy? I am not the great divine; I am just a very flawed human.
We do it by silencing our conscience, discarding our principles, and layering mask upon mask until the skin underneath goes blue.
But deep down, we know we are singular. You, me, and everyone else - we are each special.
We have our own likes, our own dislikes, and our own specific set of quirks. This is even more true for those of us who have lived through extraordinary experiences or were simply born different.
I cannot speak for everyone, but I can certainly speak for myself.
There is so much in this world that I cannot tolerate, and so little that works for me in a straightforward way. My path is never a straight line; it is a complicated process that people who walk in linear line will never truly understand.
I couldn't follow the standard blueprints of those around me. I am an oddity. Call me complicated.
To make matters harder, I am stubborn and I am defiant. On certain things, I just refuse to budge.
We all understand the concept of give and take, but I have been seeing a lot of the ugly side of that bargain - where people demand a foot the moment you offer an inch.
It has made me reluctant to give anything at all to those who only know how to take. Because if you are flexible like a rubber band, some people would just keep pulling you apart until you snapped.
There are those who argue simply for the sake of arguing; it feels like they just want the hollow win because they think I would submit to them.
I am happy to admit when I am wrong, but when people fight me with fallacies, I will throw the facts back in their faces.
I'll admit, I lack tact when it comes to this. I'm blunt. Even when I manage to speak politely, my face betrays my thoughts. Why should I give in when I am not wrong? Why should I feed someone else's ego by admitting I'm wrong when I'm right?
When I surrender my ground just to keep the peace, I feel as though my peace has been robbed. I am left awake at night with something gnawing at my flesh.
Yet, when I fight for my space, I am labeled, judged, and pushed into a corner.
Life is not easy.
It's hard not to be mad. I am including this writing with a poem from my past - I wish I could say that the world is a better place since it was written, but sadly, nothing has changed.
Circle Kings and Queens, as unabashed as ever.
Why are we demanded to spill our blood and break our bones just to fit someone else's made-up definition of correct?
They aren't always right; they're just louder. They aren't always better either; they're just more persistent.
This is for the square pegs who refuse the round mold.
Photo by travelnow.or.crylater on Unsplash
The Circle Kings and Queens
Jun 6, 2024
Crushing identities, spilling blood and breaking bones to build their court.
The privileged insiders draw rigid lines, enact restrictive social codes, and judge others by arbitrary standards.
They take it upon themselves to enforce conformity and punish those who don’t fit the mold.
a twisted obsession
they draw circles
circling more than
their own diameter
it’s not just a space
but a privilege pronoun
a social decree
of esteem and class
for all the world to see
markers in hand
they mark a bold line
circling their
chosen domain
within, are those
deemed worthy
chosen one
while others, cast out
judged not of their kind
those that’ve passed
their self-made standard
earned a hollow acceptance
title displayed one of us
scornful whisper
dismissing those left out
something hinted at
being amoral
flawed to the core
must mend their ways
to be reset and reformed
force pressed into a mold
cramming square pegs
into round mold
one of us, they’d say
identity crushed
for conformity
blood may be spilled
bones may be broken
that’s the price to pay
for the inclusion
a sacrifice demanded
failing that
they shall be cast out
like the lepers
institutionalized
divided by the wall of hate
what about those who resist
who refused to be confined
within the shallow and mean
social restriction
square from the start
owning their essence
in their perfect space
no room for facades
just authentic living
through shine and rain
they forged their own path
content with their own
no need for showy code
no envious eyes
on treasure they see
respect for all being
without the envy
for peace of mind
but constant
disdain drips from those
who draw its line
trapped within
their own circle’s hierarchy
perhaps envy’s monster
with a jealous eye
rearing its ugly head
for the peace
that they didn’t know
©Britt H.
Thank you for reading this.
More about the person behind the writing in My Introductory Post
If you’d like to support my writing — you can consider buying me a coffee here Any support holds immense significance for a disabled neurodivergent like me.
Thank you
@kenny-crane
@inspiracion
@quotes-haven
Your title says it all: why should I...
And that's your answer: why should you? I don't think you have anything to lose. People don't like you anyway, they don't understand you, so what does it matter? Why not just be blunt and say what you think, especially since it's already written all over your face?
In your case, that stubbornness will at least help you get as far as you are now. Without it, your liver would look very different, so keep that in mind.
The world is the world; it hasn't become any better or worse, nor is it getting better, worse, or more beautiful. What has changed are the people around us in our lives, our world. When you remove the bad apples, your world looks a lot better, that's a fact. It's not certain that you'll get a lot of other friends in return, but it gives me a great sense of resignation when you no longer have to deal with everyone who tries to thwart you.
Press the delete button, hold your head high and tell yourself that you don't need anyone to make you unhappy. It's better to be alone than to keep fighting a losing battle. Because this is a battle you're not going to win.
Go for peace, regularity and space for yourself, that's the most important thing. Sensitive people, creative people, people with a difficult past and present need only one thing, and that is peace.
I know, right? If I’m already cast aside, I should at least be free—but some people won't stop attacking even when you're backed into a corner. I remember when I was working and gunning for a promotion; I had to keep up the act. I understand that’s part of a job. But I’m just so fed up with people who think we have an obligation to please them. Being polite and showing general courtesy is a must for decent human communication, but sometimes people simply ask for too much.
Do you know what's funny? The people who expect you to always be there for them, always step aside for others, always be polite and generous, who also have a big mouth about it and have the nerve to criticise you, are often the ones who never do anything for anyone else and are always the first to grab and take everything for themselves, not to mention the fact that they often take credit for the hard work of others. The average employer is just as blind as the average teacher.
When people criticise and disparage you, you might as well behave like the monster, dragon or witch they make you out to be. At least then you will have peace of mind and know that they are correct.
You are absolutely right—more than right. It’s as if these people expect you to just stand perfectly still in the middle of the road while they reverse and mow you down. In their eyes, you’re the 'bad guy' the moment you try to step out of the way. Like you insulted them.
The more you think about it, the more ridiculous it is. It's always best to take a step back and look at what others are doing and saying from a distance, then you can see what's wrong. The more you can exclude him, the better. Reading what you've written, it sounds like a bad game. The kind where you have to run over as many pedestrians as possible.
It really is totally ridiculous. There will always be people like that—predators looking for 'low-hanging fruit' to target because they have nothing else. Treating others poorly is the only way these people can feel good about themselves; they are truly pathetic. They move through life thinking they can just mow others down without consequences
I fear they mow on because there are no consequences, no boundaries set.
They felt offended when boundaries are set. Mad people...