The Coronavirus and What You Need to Know
This Coronavirus is an ominous event. Still, it will take quite a bit to top the Heinekenvirus of the early 2000s.
Some experts warn this could get as lethal as the Spanish Flu (probably caused by a bad batch of Tecate.)
I don't mean to make light of a dark topic. I haven't been this seriously worried about a global outbreak since Yacht Rock reared its nasty head.
Government officials warn of economic turmoil as millions of enslaved Chinese citizens may be limited to 80 hour work weeks.
Get yourselves prepared. Facemasks and hairnets are no longer optional in sexual encounters.
Also, be sure to take advantage where advantages are to be taken. Fake a cough and get out of work for 12 to 14 days.
Thank you and good luck.