I Want to Demolish My Walls

I felt like I was robbed. I was feeling damned. Somebody's cursing me. I remember writing to a first aid course; But I had no energy to carry my baby all the time and I had to cancel.

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The course did not accept re-programming or refunding my money. I remember crying on the phone; I am very concerned about my concerns and that I cannot afford to pay again. He didn't even care.

Where was the organic mother I was supposed to be? Where were the easy things? Shouldn't it be easy?

Yes, it was easy; the most difficult part was the process that followed. Never sleep. I don't think you understand. I remember someone talking to me about people being liars. I wish I could have been a liar.

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I'm upset, sorry. The anger in me was emptied in the explosion; It was strong. Destroying walls, breaking chairs; because of fatigue and frustration I wanted to cry like I was losing myself.

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