The Grumpy Dildo

The Grumpy Dildo desperately needed a block of cheese that they would drop. This seems a fairly funny idea, to my mum, but not to the Dildo, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was spectacular. Who would have thought, a block of cheese of all things.

The Grumpy Dildo desperately needed a bottle of coke that they would often worship. This seems to be a funny suggestion, to my children, but not to the Dildo, who feels that the idea was breathtaking. You wouldnt have imagined, a bottle of coke is the thing to select.

The Grumpy Dildo always carried a mug that they liked to try to balance on their head. It should have been a somewhat surprising exercise, to my dad, but not to the Dildo, who feels that the idea was entertaining. Who would have imagined, a mug of all things.

The Grumpy Dildo looked for a helmet that they would often play with. It might have been an unusual suggestion, to me and my husband, but not to the Dildo, who had come to the conclusion it would be exciting. A helmet being the thing opted for.

The Grumpy Dildo owned a pencil sharpener that they would often put on his head. One might find this to be a new operation, to some, but not to the Dildo, who assumed it was wonderous. A pencil sharpener was the thing that was opted for.

The Grumpy Dildo always had with them a cheese grater that they would occasionally rub on his belly. This could be considered an unusual thing to do, to many, but not to the Dildo, who had come to the conclusion it would be the most awesome idea. Who would have imagined, a cheese grater being the thing selected.