Love learns to let go

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When he looked up, he saw the leather book that had been sitting on the shelf had fallen to the floor. He got anxious.

They had spent most of their lives together and enjoyed lots of little things together, being able to talk for hours at a time with each other. She had taught him how to be calm, he was able to take her financial burdens away.

He thought that being close to someone meant they cared about each other.

He opened the book and saw the writing was really small. The notes looked like an everyday list of things to do but they then changed to words like, uneasy, smothered, scared of his own shadow. One note said that she loved him but that she was concerned about what his fears would cause him to do.

He remembered all of the nights that he asked her the same question over and over. He remembered how, on more than one occasion, he took her phone without consent and changed all of his plans just to keep her close. What he considered to be caring for her started to look like a trap. Heat turned to shame turned into a clear decision, he could continue to hold onto her tightly or he could let her go and work to change a little.

He left the book lying on the floor and walked until the lights in the city began to blur. He called a non judgmental friend and booked an appointment with a counselor. He did little things on his way to changing. He waited before asking to apologize. He acknowledged his fear and didn't blame her, and he was respectful and patient with her.

Change was not magical and overnight. The home was becoming more of a place to share than a place to own. He will always remember that love isn't something you own, love is to be healed and to protect the other person.

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