Love Me If I Say No
This work explores dark themes.
Content warning: ideation.
The dark blue sky radiates, the ocean above engulfing millions of beams. My honest inquiry to you, why not me?
I am numb, dead weight. The buzz spreads and invades the arms. Head aligned as I gaze, rush as the feet move.... the control I feed from the corner, otherwise a weary rooftop.
Photo by Anthony Cantin on Unsplash
No contact, just a lonely road.
Let me be with you.
Over the edge, no surprises.
Have I earned it?
Solace for the defaulter
I see only what I want.
Just like an angel,
the tingles, the butterflies
you left behind.
No love, no lust,
nothing between us
but your presence, constant
as weather.
I stand at the top, listening to the wind.
"Love me if I say no.
Stay, if I dare."
They know.
You needed me,
the quiet settled
into a room
I was never in.
I understand these words deeply; I have stood on that same edge. But I've realized that the place beyond is a mystery that cannot be undone.
Even with the best intentions, people are trapped in their own rooms. They cannot live for us, and they may fail us one way or another.
Our life is our own small square footage to manage. We have the right to retreat into our own internal space and make it whatever we need it to be.
I hope this is creative writing—a writer's profound purpose of staying alive to keep writing. Turning the act of living into an act of art.
You still have stories to tell and a room to decorate with your words, all the reasons to stay on this side of the edge.
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You are completely right, couldn't have said better.
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I am not sure if I am in here with you if it comes to the place beyond. Why should it be undone? What if our life isn't the small square footage we believe it is?
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@wakeupkitty
The strange thing is that if you say NO it feels there's nothing to love... and if you dare it's also hard to stay. Taking risks is difficult to most unless the path and the goal is clear. The question is: what is it that's eating one inside? Love, lack of it or the endless void?
I like what you wrote and hope you post something original to upvote and nominate.
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To be honest, I don’t get it. Love feels to me like a pat on the back when there is something to give. The lack of it feels worse. It’s too complicated for my brain.
I have been posting original stuff, so I was not being considered for the nominations. Now I feel silly, hehe.
I appreciate the support.
I am getting support in the comments though, which is lit.
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It's hard to find a definition for love, it also depends on culture and so much more (the warm embraces we had - too many or none, the words we heard and ... character). Some easily say "I love you" while others will never say these words, but love is shown or the acts we associate with love.
Is a mother's love endless? I doubt it, not for me. The more one thinks, the harder it is to get it. I believe we think too much and should act more.
I am one of those people who will not easily say "I love you" but I also don't say "I hate you". To me love is reserved to a very small group, the same for true friends. I do say it to the one close to me, especially if I feel it's important not to forget or .. regret.
If it comes to nominations.. by far the good writers aren't nominated (also hard to find) it would be good to put them in the spotlights, although personally I don't care if that wouldn't be the case with me.
We try to comment and interact but it's hard since it's in average a small group willing to and they have a private life as well and no matter what people believe it's time-consuming, great to do, but time-consuming. That deserves to be rewarded (and nominated as well).
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@wakeupkitty
Perhaps this is a good opportunity to think about this condition for a vote. We absolutely agree that Steem needs uniqueness and distinctive qualities. But in my opinion, the way to achieve this is not by neglecting authors who are currently more successful on other platforms. Rather, it is by welcoming them with open arms and persuading them to priorise this platform...
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For me, the choice is easy, people tend to read and engage here.
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Here on Steem, there are several authors with depression who find writing helpful. In general, there seem to be quite a few writers in the literary scene who channel their depression, melancholy or world-weariness through writing. I myself am not affected by this – I'm just weird ;-)) And writing helps me! Your words are deeply felt, yet leave room for speculation, hope and acceptance. Thank you!
I have built a tolerance to dark themes or gore psychology, much like you, I don’t mind reading or writing about them.
A show I watched, Takopi’s Original Sin, contained two warnings in a single episode spanning the whole show. It is animated, but the portrayal is so heavy that the warnings at the beginning and end stand out quite a bit.
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