FORSTER HOMES: GOOD OR BAD?

Fostering ain't a life time commitment, it's a commitment to safe a life.

( I think there should be "good" there. That is "GOOD FOSTER HOMES NEEDED".)

A little friend of mine(neighbour) lost both parents some time ago in a motor accident.
He was the only child of his parents, arrangements were made for him to be taken to a foster home. My little ones(siblings) asked me what a foster home was and if George would be safe there. Told them that it was safe for George there and that he was going to like it there and have lots of fun there.
Grandma overheard me and called me aside away from my little ones and told me...

Home sweet home, no place can ever be like home.
She told me she felt pity for the young lad to lose both parent at a go and at a very young age. She told me she felt like the best(bright) part of his life has been taken away from him and that he lost the shinning part of is life. That his light was now imprisoned.

Didn't understand so i asked her to explain, so she told me:
"I ain't against foster homes but I feel like it stops a child from shinning to his best ability. That fire is being locked up. A child that grows up with his parents has nothing to fear or worry about, he is focused. While a child that grows up in a foster home, is unable to unleash his/her full potentials".
She told me that there is a positive side to it like there are some awesome carers who do everything in their power to make you feel welcome and get you involved. Most times the lad gets more exposed, and get more and good opportunities.

She then said that...
The child never fully feels like he/she is a part of a family as such because, a lot of foster families would go out their way to establish a difference between themselves and you. Whether it was sending you away to a temporary home while your foster family went on holiday or simply reminding you that you are not fully part of their family. She told me she will never forget she had one foster parent say to her, "If I had to choose between you and my daughter, I would choose my daughter every time." Although I'm sure this is true, I never understood the need for her to remind me of this.

She told me that as a foster child, if anything went missing in the house you would be their first port of call especially in temporary homes. Again, understandable, but it will start to grain on you after a while.
Any bad luck happens because of you. Sometimes you are called a witch and the one bewitching their family.

You will also have the problem of adapting to new families' she told me. Rules and standards every few months. Every family is really different and you never fully feel settled in a way to live. One thing that is acceptable in one house is completely outlawed in another which can lead to them labelling you as a "bad kid."

If their child gets bad or into trouble you will be the one blamed for having a negative influence on their children.

She told me all this are abuses because it affects the child psychologically. But in most cases they are real cases of straight abuses and the girl child suffers most. She get abused sexually and she has to live with it because the child has no one to tell and no one to talk to. No one to trust.

She was a victim of a bad foster home...
She said, it didn't kill her. It only made her stronger.