Self forgiveness blog 9: letting go of fear and stress to move me to action as an automated behaviour

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear having a heart attack

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to validate my fear of having a heart attack by allowing it, trusting tat fear as a guide and believing it to be real

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that by allowing the fear of having a heart attack or heart problem to exist within me, then I am actually contributing to physical ailments of the body by allowing fear

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to learn to/practice breathing and slowing down when I experience fear and the fear of having a heart attack, rather than going into the fear

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to let my mind/thoughts go into projecting the worst case scenarios when there is something awry or when I encounter a problem

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear going to see a doctor for a checkup because I’m afraid of what I will find

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear doctors and not trust doctors and believe doctors to be useless or incompetent

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear surgery

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear having heart problems or surgery because my father and step father had heart problems and surgery

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be moved by fear and stress, and that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to automate this fear and stress to a point where it becomes that which moves me in an automatic way

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to embrace silence and quit/doing nothing, and move myself from this point of nothingness/silence rather than to simply go/move without consideration of myself/self direction as this tendency to be moved by fear and stress as an automated behaviour

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to stress and worry about business and money and that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I move myself to do business/make money from a starting point of fear and stress, then there is no point in chasing these things to be able to survive as the stress of chasing them will lead to my downfall anyways

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in activities that cause stress and stimulate my fears, within a point of being addicted to my fears and stress within the belief that I require stress and fear to move me, and thus the belief that the more fear/stress, the better

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to fear and stress

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to depend on fear and stress to move me into action and survival

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need fear and stress to move me and within this belief, have automated myself in such a way where I am always finding ways to stimulate my fears and stress to be able to move me into action

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to trust this feeling/experience of anxiety, rushing, stress and fear and believe it to be who I am

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to simply want and desire to get things done within a point of fear/stress and resistance towards living

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to consider that my diet and what I eat and that eating based on desire/emotions can affect my health and within this, disbelieve that what I eat/the starting point of why I eat as emotional eating can have a negative affect on my health and experience of myself

I commit myself to give up all fears and beliefs that create fears and stress until I can walk in clarity, existing without fear and stress moving me

When and as I see myself fearing having a heart attack or playing out worst case scenarios when I experience pain/something being awry/a problem, I stop, I breathe, and I clear myself of the fear, here as breath, sufficiently that I may let go o these thoughts and stress/fears, as I see, realize and understand that stress and fear will not help me when I recognize a problem or suspect there is a problem as something that must be recognized, addressed and changed/directed

I commit myself to practice breathing, slowing down, clearing myself, emptying myself - utilizing breath and the 4 count breath as my support - so that I may sufficiently do the necessary self forgiveness and clear myself so that I may move myself and walk from a point of self directions I see, realize and understand that it is useless to accept and allow fear and stress to move me, within the understanding that it is not WHAT I get done, but rather WHO I AM within living/doing things

I commit myself to stop projecting worst case scenarios and creating more fear and stress within me

I commit myself to use the support that is here as the medical industry and going for regular check ups with doctors for my body, teeth and eyes

I commit myself to give up my mistrust of doctors

I commit myself to let go of the fear that I will follow in my father and step fathers footsteps by walking this process of self change fully

I commit myself to stop moving in an automated way where I am moving from a starting point of fear and stress as the desire to make money and do business

I commit myself to stop participating in patterns and automated activities that are based in fear and stress or create a point of fear and stress within me to move me

I commit myself to let go of the fear and stress of fearing being poor and not having money or a business/way to make money, as I see, realize and understand that by allowing these fears and stresses to exist within me, I am destroying myself anyways and so there is no point in chasing/trying to ensure survival from this starting point

I commit myself to participate in physical activities that deliberately slow me down and bring me back here, focused, present, in a way that actually relaxes me and assist me to let go of fear and stress

I commit myself to take on ‘lighter’ physical activities that do not create a point of excitement within me to deliberately stimulate my fears and create stress

I commit myself to let go of the belief that my diet cannot/does not affect my mind and body in a negative way

I commit myself to structure my diet in a way that I am eating that which supports my body and is not based on desire, as I see, realize and understand that to eat based on desire/emotional eating is a point that will stimulate fears and create stress within me as I eat to cope with my fears and stresses