Ouch. This was painful to read. My mother-in-law struggles with Alzheimer's. They live quite far away from us, so we only see my parents-in-law about four times per year, but when they visit they stay for three weeks. During that time, at first I am patient and loving. Later on I become irritated with my mom's continuous irrational behavior, her lack of memory. But always my compassion is there. I recently asked my dad how he put up with it. He cried, saying that he hates losing his wife, because she is just not there anymore. But, he said, he married her for better or for worse, and he will love her forever and he will look after her with that love. And I wish I could actually convey the respect and love that he shows her in every little thing. She does not know how to appreciate it anymore. She does not even recognize him most of the time. But I believe somewhere, right in the core of her, she still feels his love, and that it sustains her in her dark hours of fear and confusion.