'Come tomorrow.' (Urban Legend Flash Fiction Contest)

in #fiction7 years ago (edited)

I had made a terrible mistake. A fatal one? I shuddered.

I could hear my mother's voice calling.

Knock, knock! "Open the door." 

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Metallic hands told me it was two a.m.

"NO WAY! JUST GO AWAY!" I screamed. Her voice. So real.

My throat... It hurt like hell and then some. I'd a raging throat infection from the past three days. No fever, just incredible pain. The doctor had put me on a week of some highly powerful antibiotics. They didn't help. I now wondered if it was something else. I planned to visit the doctor the next morning.

Knock, knock! "I know you are inside. Let me in." 

Really! Such a terrible mistake! I should have listened to my friends. 

I should have. But, I had just laughed at them. 

"You're new here. Listen to us. Don't take this matter lightly. This may kill you." 

Shaking their heads disapprovingly, pointing their fingers, they had warned me. 

"I have other, better things to worry about". I'd told them with a laugh. 

Now my whole body trembled. I gulped. 

Sweat trickled down my forehead. I took another sip of the hot coffee I had been drinking while working on my paper on molecular biology. Coffee helped me focus. And I needed to focus hard. I had to complete my paper in a week and present it at a national conference for budding scientists. It was not an easy paper. I'd be up the whole night.

But that was all before I heard the knock. 

Knock, knock, knock! "I've come a long way for you, son!"

She was here! It was really happening! I would not let this affect me. I would not. Or was it just the guys messing with me?

"Just go away", I yelled back.

Yet the creature spoke with my mother's own voice. 

I should have written 'Nale ba' ('come tomorrow') outside my door. I didn't have to die. Nobody had to die. 

I didn't write it. 

And now the creature was here. It was real.

Maybe it would just tire and go away if I ignored it. 

"Come on, son! Open the door. I'm your mother."

The thing outside was nobody's mother. My real Mom was several towns away, safe with my father and her aged siblings awaiting my return in a week.

The door of my apartment crashed open.

Stillness. 

No other sounds. 

It was a full moon night. 

Nobody would come to my aid. Nobody would dare!

Streams of water rolled down my cheeks. Tears? Damn, I was crying.

She was already inside.


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I am from India. And India has no dearth of urban legends. During the 1990s, this 'Nale Ba' legend became really popular in Bangalore city. 

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I wrote this story as an entry for the super cool Urban Legend Flash Fiction Contest hosted by @jrhughes

Hope you enjoyed reading it! - @sandzat

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Fascinating! One of my favorite series involves an infestation of Rakshasa and the second book delves into some Hindu mythology (or is it?). I really enjoyed it and this evoked the same eerie atmosphere. Thanks for entering, I hope to see more from you!

Haha... Rakshasa's are like demons, always fighting the 'Devas', the Gods. I'm so glad you enjoyed the urban legend story. When I came across your contest, I was so thrilled with the topic, I just HAD to enter, @jrhughes! :)

You are an amazing writer, I am following you now, and after I have read your other posts I will be looking forward to the new ones :)
Thank you @sandzat

@markwhittam, I woke up and the first thing I read in the morning were your comments. Honestly, just by that, you made my day! Thank you very much for visiting my blog and saying such nice things about my writing. :) I'm indulging my creative writing interest after a long long time and a comment such as yours, well, like I said, totally made my day. Thank you so much! :)

‘The thing outside was nobody's mother.’ - My neck was crawling at that point...

I have my friend @nexusfyre to thank for that brilliant line! He did the editing for my work. He and @rhondak from MSP fiction workshop. So glad that you enjoyed the eeriness...:)

I just dropped by the @sft project and it’s looking very promising. I'd like to see where it goes from here.

Only inspired by the words you already had put to paper..er.. keyboard...screen... Glad to have been a little service!

Eeee! Chills!
Awesome job!

Thank you, @stitchybitch! Glad you enjoyed it. <3

Great story, you got me nicely spooked

Thank you @gmuxx... so glad to hear of it! :D

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