"Grown men in tights, chasing a little ball around and playing grab ass. Not my thing." -Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park book

This has long been my favorite synopsis of Sports. Also, a harvard Anthropologist wrote about how football is culturally sanctioned homosexual expression.
I'm trying really hard to find the essay again, but it was too true.

Now, before anyone gets mad: I don't care what your sexuality is as long as you only involve consenting adults.