How I Found Happiness by Chasing that Little Voice

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We all have that funny little pestering feeling inside us. The one that we can probably blame for at least some of the unhappiness in our lives. That feeling of, “I’m made to do something with my life.” Maybe it sits back there saying, “you need to be doing more”, or “you’re supposed to be extraordinary,” or “there’s something meaningful that you need to accomplish.”

And that voice is terrifying because when you hear it. You may pull into your shell in an, “Oh shit, what if I die and never figure out what it is I’m supposed to do” kind of way. It’s dreadful.

I felt the voice more than heard it, in my early 20s and it made me restless. What am I supposed to be doing with my life?

The answer can come to you in many ways and I’ll be honest it’ll never truly go away, it’ll morph and keep pulling you forward but I do suggest following it.

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Friends have found their path through meditation, religion, the awe of science, but for me it was good old psychedelics that opened up my own personal rabbit hole and it led me to the idea of self sufficiency (be open to it leading you somewhere else).

Now if the world went to shit and I was on my own to survive I like to think I’d make it. But so would most of us, right? When it comes down to it though I’m pretty sure that a good percentage of us wouldn’t. Me included.

To think, not so long ago on our ancestral timeline we could do a hell of a lot more for ourselves. And in bringing back some of these things there’s something about it that weaves a thread of satisfaction into our modern lives. It’s not just something I’ve seen in my own experience.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Meet almost anyone who grows some of their own food, raises their own chickens for meat or eggs, wild forages, raises bees, has an orchard, or an ancient craft as a hobby, makes their own clothes, or practices herbal medicine, and you’ll recognize a magic within them.

They’ve found that thread and weaved it into their life and with it comes both an awe and appreciation of life and a layer of contentment (and might we say happiness) that just seems more fully formed than someone who’s not quiet found their connection to those roots.

I suggest taking a fall down the rabbit hole sometime. What draws you in? What can you provide?

Maybe it’s that connection we make with the outdoors and nature or maybe it’s being a producer again instead of just a consumer but there’s something to that reconnection that creates some of the happiest people I know.

And while that voice might never go away completely, for me, the feeling and voice of it has changed. I know I just need to keep deepening the hole I’ve fallen down. I can sense the vein of gold somewhere ahead.