Dear Diary: I Hope That Soon My Eating Problem Will Get Resolved

I just felt terrible every before dialysis especially a day before as I can't seem find the strength to eat my meals. One factor is the food that my parents prepare because it doesn't really give me the appetite with the taste as well as the boring selection. Day in and day out my mother just prepares the same food.

What is bad is that when I request for a particular meal she would say "Later until the birthday if this or that" or if not she would just botch the job. So really in a household there is someone who really can cook, then it is just lucky for the members to be in that household.

So I would ask her to buy me some fruits instead but she would say they are expensive considering that I will be the one who will use my money for the purchase. I just like some fruits that I can eat with my rice when I get the trouble of finishing it and it does helps me eat.

Now it is the reason I was buying and buying foods online so that even though I could not go to the physical store I can be able to procure myself what I needed for the time being that I cannot eat normally much less cook what I want, eat it and enjoy eating it. I had given up the hope at this time that I could cook again so I just reside in buying foods that at least I can enjoy eating.

Soon maybe all of this that I am enduring because of my bone and pain problem will be over and will just be a bitter memory of the past. But right now I will just continue to take my foods and medicines for that matter because I do not want to go to my past where pain is unbearable with the risk of making my literal head grow into a more grotesque appearance along with the total disability to speak and eat. God forbid.