Dear Diary: Part Of My Frustration In My Life

Today I dreamt of going to church, going to my convention center actually and in my dream we were trying to clean it because the paint of the ceilings had gone worn off and the tiles of the flooring are dirty so we are cleaning it with high pressure washer.

Maybe the reason I dreamt of it is because part of my frustration in my life is not being able to go to church physically. Before I had all these bone deformities and pains I was going to my church three times weekly and it went on for years after I was baptized in the year 1998.

Sometimes there was this we call Thanksgiving of the Flock where all the members would go and offer Thanksgiving. Me and my brother would set up a tent and we sort of camp at the back of the convention center we we and my fellow friends would stay for three days only going home after the end of the day and returning early in the morning.

My Hands Are Tied And I Couldn't Do Now Most Of The Former Things In My Life

On regular thanksgiving day me and my brother would attend together with my mother bringing along my brother's son on the last few months where I was still able until my breathlessness became worse and my body pains also made me really unable to get mobile.

So I asked my church authorities to just make a mission and give me destined worker so that I won't miss out on church activities because there is such a program like that in our church (mcgi.org). Now I am just viewing them in recorded file on a USB that the church worker brings here in my home almost two times per week.

I must accept that nothing lasts forever under the sun and beyond as even the sun would soon falter and fade after sometime. So I am just living a day at a time now and trying not to think about what I cannot do and just focus on the things that I can do and enjoy in my remaining days.

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