Just Pouring Out My Heart
Today I just feel like ranting. Not because things haven’t been great but because I’m at a level where I feel I’m too relaxed. I’m the type who’s usually being talked about or dragged by some clients or over stressed from too much work, overnight work or just anything. Like there’s always something keeping my mind randomly running in thousand miles. I hate to admit it as well but I even miss a man’s stress right now. I ended my last relationship and I’ve been single for a while now. Things are just too calm. I need something guys. Maybe a competitor, a complicated business idea or even a serious relationship that can bring me some anxiety to worry about lol😂.
I’m not kidding anyway. I really need something to keep my mind active. A young person shouldn’t be so relaxed. I have always wanted to be out there in the world, making an extra ordinary name for myself; maybe have my name inked on Forbes list as one of the young African women making it (I wish!). Or even maybe been recognized by some top international companies and getting invited for international conferences.
Lately, I reduced a great workload of my activities and working hours. So I work less hours now but earn more. That’s where the issue is coming from. It’s not supposed to be an issue but I live alone, I’m single, I live in a city where I don’t have any friends, I rarely go out, I’m always indoors… working has really been the only thing occupying my mind but now that it has reduced, I feel kind of very bored, empty and lonely atimes. Typing this out loud from my mind it’s kind of embarrassing and makes me feel so much pity for myself right now. This is the most honest I have been in a long while. I try to see movies so I can fill in the gap but it can only do so little occupying the mind. I want to do something that really occupies my mind. I’m trying vlogging now but I don’t even have the push and enough motivation to be serious with it. This is the major reason I feel I need a competitor, someone I can see as a push.
Have thoughts of things I can do to help? Thank you for reading.