My Favorite Humans: Grigori Rasputin

Grigori Rasputin

This guy was one whimsical son of a bitch.

Russia, in the late 19th century and early 20th century, was a place where mental illness was widely looked upon as a sign of being touched by divinity. In light of this fact, Rasputin's rise to power makes perfect sense. His sermons, during his time as a self-proclaimed holy man, were rambling gibberish, but the people of his time and place ate it up.

His rise was meteoric--and he won favor with the family of Tsar Nicholas II due to Rasputin's reported uncanny ability as a healer to stop the bleeding of Tsar Nicholas' hemophiliac son Alexei.

Rasputin was known to have an enormous penis, and stories of him fucking women unconscious were commonplace amidst the rumor mills of early 20th century St. Petersburg. He was said to be able to charm women with his piercing eyes and unwavering gaze.

Rasputin is also notable for the unbelievable story of his death. According to Felix Yusupov, one of the nobles who participated in Rasputin's murder, Rasputin was poisoned with cyanide-laced cakes, but was totally unaffected by them, even after devouring several. So Yusopov and company gave Rasputin three glasses of poisoned wine, but still, he did not die, or even show signs of being affected by the poison. Finally, Yusopov got sick of waiting for the poison to work and just shot Rasputin in the chest. But Rasputin jumped up from the ground like a fucking zombie and attacked Yusopov! In the melee and chaos of that scene, the wounded Rasputin escaped Yusupov's palace, only to be gunned down in the courtyard by Vladimir Purishkevich, another conspirator in the murder.

Rasputin's body was wrapped in cloth and thrown into a nearby river. Some say he was still alive even then. But if he was, the icy cold river's drowning currents finally finished the job.

The story is contradicted by the evidence of Dr. Dmitry Kosorotov's autopsy on Rasputin's body. The doctor found only one bullet in Rasputin's body, no signs of poisoning, and no water in his lungs. Reports that Rasputin's penis was severed from his body were also contradicted by Dr. Kosorotov's examination, which found Rasputin's penis still attached to his body.

With Grigori Rasputin, it's impossible to know where the facts end and the legend begins. That is, perhaps, why I find him so fascinating.

For more information, I'd recommend the book 'Rasputin: Faith, Power, and the Twilight of the Romanovs' by Historian Douglas Smith.