The apple of my eye!

My dear friends,

My mother is the apple of my eye, but don’t let my daughter hear this, or I will be in deep trouble.

From the time I can remember, my mother’s love and unwavering support have been the guiding light on my path as I was growing up. She was my confidante, my mentor, and my closest friend, someone with whom I could share my deepest thoughts and fears. Best of all, she never judged. Make no mistake, her yes was her yes, her no was her no, and she only spoke once. After that, you will know that you are in serious trouble.

Yes, I have said, "was." Time has changed.
My mother can no longer share her faith in my abilities with me, and she can no longer encourage me. What is left is her holding my hand and the love I can still see shining through her eyes. My mother is 87, and she is living in the world of an Alzheimer's person.

Some time ago, I wrote a diary post in which I shared that my mother, my sister, and her daughter were visiting us. I thought it would be my last visit with my mother. It was not.

At the beginning of the year, I asked my sister if she thought my mom would be okay if they came and visited me one more time. As they are staying 600+ kilometers from me, we decided that my mom would never make a 6- to 7-hour drive. My sister was willing to put in some leave and fly down with my mom. My brother, on the other hand, just told us that it would never work. It will be too much of an upset for her.

I decided to buy tickets for the two of them to fly down, as we were willing to take the chance. We so wanted to show her beloved ocean one more time.

Thursday was the big day. Before the flight, I arranged with the airlines to provide my mother with frailty care treatment. When I called my sister to hear if they were okay, I could not get a hold of her. I left for the airport around ten in the morning, not knowing what to expect. I drove in and out of the parking area twice. I was so nervous. What if she could not handle the flight? I would never stop blaming myself if something had to happen to her.

I parked in the wheelchair zone and waited for them, as advised by the airline.

Then I saw them. My mother was pushed by an airport official, and my sister was huffing and puffing behind them with a bag under each arm. My mom looked so fragile and extremely tired.

As I bent down to her, she looked up into my face, and she started to cry. She called me by my name! It will forever be one of the biggest moments of my life. Little do I need to tell you that my sobs could have been heard miles away.

My mother is no longer the embodiment of strength, grace, and selflessness, who has always put the needs of her family first. She is now living in her own little world, and just like a child, she only asks for three things: shelter, food, and love. Oh no, she also asks for her sweets. Like my sister says, she is now her biggest child. Oh boy, she gets away with murder.

This, my dear friends, is what I’ve been busy with the last couple of days. I've been sitting with my mother every spare moment I have.

I am spoiling her, cooking her favorite meals, giving her those treats that she gave my children when I said no they cannot have them, and sitting watching her drawing stripes on the right-hand side of the page as she can no longer color in a full picture.

I only want to do one thing, and that is to be with my mother. This WILL be her last visit.

To me, my mother is not just my mother, but my true hero. She will always be the apple of my eye and the foundation upon which my little world was built.

Her gentle touch, her soothing voice, and her warm embrace will be missed... but not yet. For the moment, she is still with us, and I love every moment of it.

I will be back soon.

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