Great-Grandfather's Funeral – A Five Minute Fiction
Everybody freaked out when it happened. It's like someone came back from the dead, which I guess is what everyone thought, at my great-grandfather's funeral service.
The preacher was up there going on and on about living a good life and being surrounded by loved ones and how the large number of people in attendance indicated the good that my great-grandpa did in life (something to that effect anyway) when it happened.
Why do preachers try to find some meaning in death anyway? Like, it's just a part of the deal, dying. There's no meaning in it, no big truth to learn from it. I guess they're just preachers and can't help preaching.
Anyway, the only good my great-grandfather did came in the form of hundred dollar bills, which he accumulated quite a few of. I mean, that's why all those people were there. Had nothin' to do with any other good thing he did.
It was the benjamins that caused the ruckus too. The undertaker had packed so many into the bottom half of the casket (turns out great-grandpa wanted to take at least some of it with him), that midway through the service they started unpacking, popping out the top half and fluttering around in front of the preacher.
That's what got everyone. First they were scared ... and then the greed took over.
It was like Walmart when the doors open on Black Friday. Soon enough it was just my great-grandfather's body and an overturned casket up there, and everyone was running out the churchyard.
Yeah, I knew we were just there 'cause of his money. Without it my great-grandfather was useless, and forgotten.
Interesting. Reminds me of an old joke...
A dying stingy man demands his older son to swear that he'd put all his money with him in his tomb. The entire family cries historically when the oldest son goes to the tomb with the briefcase.
As he comes back they asked him
"Did you leave all his money there as you promised?"
"Yes," the oldest son responded, "but I wrote him a check."
Haha. Serves him right. :)