(Your Mom is Being Weird) Tempest Papers: Letters from a Boat Cat

in #humor6 years ago

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Another letter from Tempest, the boat cat. Tempest lived with us on our boat for two years while we traveled from Florida tot he Bahamas, Turks & Caicos, The Dominican Republic and back to the US. These letters capture a bit of the adventure from her perspective.

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Dear Paris,
Your mother is being weird. I mean really odd.
Your mother and I have been having a bit of a territory issue. You see, she seemed to think that the open cabinets behind the counter in the galley were for kitchen gadgets and that sort of junk, when in reality, those cabinets were my apartment.
I know what you’re thinking, “Why would a cat need a space that big? Its practically three rooms!”
Well, I’ll tell you why. I don’t “need” it, its just mine. It is. I wouldn’t mind sharing, but whenever I allow the humans to put something in one of my rooms, they invariably start to take up the whole space. Its ridiculous, really, but I have learned, even in my short life that I have to stand my ground. As they say, “Give them an inch and they’ll take my whole damn room.”
Whenever they would put something in my room, why I would scratch and growl at it. I would lie right up against it and shed my fur all over it.
I guess your mother is smarter than I thought. Yesterday it appears that she came to her senses. She cleaned out my entire apartment and… I shit you not, she made me a bed. It looks glorious, I tell you. Dark stained wood with a lovely soft blanket in it.

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However, I’m now torn. I don’t want her to get complacent and think that just because she cleaned my room that I now owe her something, or that (god forbid) she doesn’t need to be doing anything ELSE for me. Just to keep her in line, I was careful not to use the bed today. I studied it closely first, to make sure it wasn’t a trap. I got as close as I dared and I smelled it.
I decided that I don’t really care much for the fabric she used. I don’t think it will compliment my fur. I’m going to keep watch on this bed situation for the next few days. I may have to just sleep in my other room for a while until I figure out what the catch is.
I’ll keep you up to date on the situation as I figure out whether or not this new bed is a safe bet.
Suspiciously Yours,
Tempest,
Queen of the pets, Overlord of the floating castle, ever watchful and suspicious.

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Read Some of the Previous Tempest Letters:

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Letter One: Stupid Human Tricks

Letter Two: Training Humans to Sleep

Letter Three: Catching a Monster!

Letter Four: The B*tch, Cinnamon

Letter Five: I’m a Contortionist!

Letter Six: The Cat Father: Kicking A$$ & Taking Names

Letter Seven:Throwback Thursday, Learning to Swim for My Life

Letter Eight: That #$%& Dog Wants to be my BFF

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Short Stories

Stories about a sexy night out when these two strangers meet at the club and really hit it off after a hot night out of drinking and dancing. Told from both perspectives: His and Hers

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A fairy tale story with quite the twist!

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A story full of hope about the hope and faith of a child

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Click the graphic to join the fun

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This was great...I'll have to read the rest!

She's got enough for a full out diary one of these days!

I love cats! They're such adorable a$$holes sometimes. LOL

Haha, right??? Such assholes, so misunderstood! :)

Cats got major swag...

Namaste, JaiChai

Lol. She's a very spoiled cat, she just doesn't realize it yet!

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wow quite the adventure

We had a fabulous adventure for sure!

lol! howdy @byn! cats freaking rule. they are so cool so you got into your cat's mind perfectly! I love this line.."I shit you not, she made me a bed!" lol. great job as usual.

Thank you! Tempest is a great writer. She's so emotive :)

howdy today Byn! I don't know what that word means but I assume it means like emotional? like a typical female or something? did you write today or did I miss it?

I haven't written today. I've slept most of the day! I'm not feeling 'together' enough to write today. Just trying to sleep off this sick as much as I can. I did post a video, but I shall be back with writing tomorrow.

take your time and recover, use it as an excuse to be lazy for once! God bless you!

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Quite the cliffhanger, Tempest! At least your human seemed to acknowledge your royalty by using purple fabric (https://www.livescience.com/33324-purple-royal-color.html) - but then again, that might be all part of her evil plan. I hope it all turned out okay in the end. 😊

Lol, thank you for the comment. :) Tempest gets a wild idea and doesn't want to let go of it!

Yep, she's definitely a cat... or a teenager....LOL! 😊